Lovers and Fighters | Section 22

For this interview, I decided to ask my brother, Theo, the questions about his best friend. They’ve known each other since secondary 1. It’s been a little over 5 years of friendship for them and they’re both 17.

1. Why are you close to your friend?

My friend and I have been very close friends for over five whole years at this point and we both grew up together. We’re still friends because we have good chemistry and are always willing to help out and support one another, leading to a healthy friendship.

2. What kinds of things do you like to do together?

You’ll probably find us playing a video game together. It’s usually a single player game and we just take turns because that’s always more fun. Aside from that, we walk a lot and just talk about anything that comes to mind while outside. If not the latter then we will occasionally bike together or go do some activity like watch a movie or browse a store.

3. Have you ever told your friend how much he means to you? If so, what did you say and how did he react? If you have never told him how much he means to you, why not?

I have told my friend how much he means to me. In my life, I’ve come by very few people who just “get me”. If you’re lucky enough, you’ll find an entire group of friends like that where everyone is in-sync. If you spend enough years with a friend you both eventually become comfortable enough to show some “brotherly love” and that’s exactly what we do. It’s usually a simple “I wanted to remind you that you’re one of my closest friends and I really appreciate our bond”. Or even an “I love you, you’re the best.” on the rarer occasion. I cannot remember how either one of us would’ve reacted upon hearing that for the first time but nowadays it’s mutual and we’re always reciprocating.

The person I interviewed is Michael Cachiotti. His best friend is Julian Pelligrino. He’s been friends with him since secondary 1. They are both 17

1)Why are you close to your friend? Be specific.

Michael is very close to his best friend because Julian is someone he trusts a lot. No matter what the situation is, Julian is always there for him. They don’t go to the same school but everytime they see each other, it’s like they’ve seen each other for a long time. Julian always makes Michael laugh which is why their bond is good. When Michaels uncle passed away, it was very hard for him because he was very close to him. Julian was the first person that Michael turned too.

2)What kind of things do you like to do together?

Michael and Julian spend a lot of time together. They like going to Mcdonalds to hangout, they play hockey together and they are in the same soccer team. In the summer, they play soccer together and after they go eat an ice cream. They spend a lot of time together just doing anything.

3)Have you ever told your friend how much he means to you? If so, what did you say and how did he react? If you have never told him how much he means to you, why not?

He’s never told Julian why he means so much to him because he has never thought of it. He told me that men don’t really talk about that stuff. Men keep their emotions to themselves. He also told me he doesn’t feel the need to tell him “Why he means so much to him”.

1. Do you show affection to your best friend in public? If yes, how?

“I do, yes. But with a handshake. Because it is something that no one else but us can do.” (Marc)

2. Why is Keven your best friend?

“I guess he is the most convenient person and also my cousin which strengthens our relationship.”

3. What do you like about Keven?

“His sense of humor, and the way he’s able to have logical thinking when it comes to making decisions.” 

4. Can you rely on him for emotional support? Can you show your emotions in front of him? 

“He’s not really good at comforting people so there no point of being sad in front of him, maybe not every kind of emotion. He’s not emotional or capable of comprehending other people’s emotions.”

5. Do you ever feel any competition between you both?

“I wouldn’t say there’s a competition but a desire to always be on the same level. I would say we’re out of sync.”

6. Do you love your best friend? Why? 

“Yeah, I love him. I guess we have so many memories together, and so many possibilities together that he means a lot to me.” 

7. Are you ever afraid that other men would consider you and your best friend’s relationship as “gay”?

“Yeah. I’m attracted to girls, in the past I’ve had comments like that, and it makes me 

question my identity.”

8. Do you ever hug your best friend? In public?

“Rarely. Because we are not touchy people. I prefer hugging the opposite sex unless I’m really emotional or optimistic, like happy, I wouldn’t hug any guy.” 

9. What kinds of things do you like to do together?

“Try new foods, try new restaurants together, we like first experiences together. Most of the time when going to an event, we like to go together to have each other’s back. We also are interested in clothing and like the same base of style and brands, we talk about materialistic things that interest us.”

10.  Have you ever told your friend how much he means to you? If so, what did you say and how did he react? If you have never told him how much he means to you, why not?

“Yeah, I told him a couple of times when I was super intoxicated. And he says it back too. He likes to reciprocate the love shown to him.”

11. Would you change anything about your relationship? 

“I wouldn’t change anything. It doesn’t matter the relationship I have with the person, I have my own method of being comfortable with people.”

(Marc and Keven)

For this interview I chose my best male friend who I have known for about 10 years. We are very close and I know he is able to be open with me but I wanted to ask him questions about his best male friend to compare.

Why are you close to you friend?

We’ve known each other a long time, he’s the friend I’ve had for the longest.

What kinds of things do you like to do together?

We play video games, hang out, build legos, go on drives and talk about cars.

Have you ever told your friend how much he means to you?

Yeah, the last message I sent him was telling him that I miss him. When I tell him how much he means to me he usually tells me he loves me back.

Are you able to be more vulnerable with your male or female friends? Why?

Female, my male friends have toxic masculinity and it makes it harder for me to be open with them.

The answers he has given me for the activities they do together relate to Kilmartins article in that they are what he described as “stereotypically masculine activities such as talking about sports, playing video games and “bar games”. Him and his friend talk about cars (racing and the sport of it) as well as play video games.

Another thing that relates to the article is that my friend stated that he is more vulnerable with his female friends than his male friends. Kilmartin said “both men and women tend to trust women more than men.” My friend demonstrates that this is true.

One thing that did not relate to the article is that him and his friend are able to tell each other that they love each other which is not frequent in men unless they are drunk.

For this blog post, I decided to interview my best friend and twin brother Ryan about our relationship as best friends. Here’s how it went.

1.  Why are you close to your friend? Be specific.

Going into this question I already knew what to expect as the answer because its quite obvious but he responded with something along the lines of “you’re my twin I have no choice but to be close with you” which makes sense however when I asked him to go into more details it was hard for him. I tried to ask him some follow-ups such as “If we weren’t brothers would we still be friends” and more questions like that however he didn’t seem comfortable answering anything and when he did he would just joke around responding with answers such as “you’ll never know I guess” etc…

2. What kinds of things do you like to do together?

In my opinion, this question went best because we do almost everything together. He responded exactly how I would have to say things such as “we play video games together, we play sports together, we laugh together” etc… However, one answer that caught my attention was “We fight together” which is true. When I asked him to go further into detail he said ” There is no one in this world that can piss me off more then you do” and as mean as it sounds to say but I understood exactly where he was coming from. Ryan and I spend so much time together we can annoy the hell out of each other but we always get past it rather quickly. I knew deep down there was also no one that made him laugh as much as I did but no way he was saying that out loud.

3. Have you ever told your friend how much he means to you? If so, what did you say and how did he react? If you have never told him how much he means to you, why not?

His response was “I never tell you because it’s self-explanatory” which I think I agree with. Ryan and I just have an unspeakable bond that’s greater than just being twin brothers. Were best friends and we kinda just know that no matter what we come first in each other’s lives. There’s no need to say it out loud.

For my 5^th blog I decided to interview my best friend peter. I’ve been best friends with him since grade 8. He’s a really good person and we always do crazy things whenever we’re together. I asked him the questions from the instructions.

My first questions to him was “What makes us best friends?”. he said that since we met, we always got each other’s back what ever happens. We both play hockey in the same team and every time one of us gets into a fight, we always have each other’s back either on the ice or in real life. He also said that we have a different friendship compared with his other friends. Me and Peter could be in the same house in difference rooms and it will be perfectly fine, we don’t need to worry about anything since we trust each other. He feels like he’s free to talk about anything personal with me. Peter always call me whenever something happens or whenever he just wants to act retarded on camera. He said we are so close together since we don’t need to put a distance to our friendship since we can do and talk about anything.

Then I asked him what he likes to do in our free time together. he said that he likes the most when we just drink together and do crazy things since that’s one of the best time, we get really good memories together. He also said that one of the things he like to do the most is to pull an all-nighter in the hot tub because that’s when we have deep talks about the personal stuff in lives. Peter and I hang out together almost every day even though we have school and work.

Since I interviewed my own best friend, I couldn’t really ask him if he has ever told me how much I mean for him but I think I can answer that question on my own. Whenever me and peter talk about personal things we always say how much we actually mean to each other and what would we do if we never met.

I interviewed my high school classmate Zhang Xiaolu. His best friend is in junior high school to know, but because of studying abroad, resulting in the two separated in different places. Here’s our conversation.

1，What are you close to your friend？ Be specific.

We share common interests and common goals. Our characters are complementary. We felt good and comfortable when we were playing together. We met at the games. I enjoy sharing my life with him.

2，What kinds of things do you like to do together？

I like working out with him, playing basketball together, playing games together, and shopping together.

3，Have you ever told your friend how much he means to you？

I told him that if I had a baby, he would be my child’s godfather. But we do n’t have a lot of emotional expressions. I think men will feel each other and do n’t need too much verbal modification.

We can see from our conversation. Men do not express their emotions in words like girls do. Men think it’s lyrical. But I think maybe they also think it would be mistaken for homosexuality. But from the point of view of “No Man is an Island: Men in Relationships”. At present they are in the stage of good friends, and they all know that they can’t cross the border, they are also unwilling to say insults or have close physical contact.

Why are you close?

My friend and I are close because we have a very similar view of life and how it should be. We both see the same problems in the World and offer the same solutions. We both like same things that other people find odd or weird. We both like doing the same things and doing them together. We both have precisely the same taste in women. We both want to be rich for the same reasons. When we are put together, we are a great pair. I am his way of exteriorizing his thoughts, and he is my conscience of right and wrong 😛

What kind of things do you like to do together?

We like going out together ; dancing, drinking (when I used to drink), singing. Basically, we love partying together. We also like playing the guitar together, whenever we have time. Whenever one of us goes out on a trip, we always arrange to meet in a small restaurant to catch up on how the trip was and what happened in the city while the other was away. But what we really love to do the most is train in martial arts and parkour! We both want to be ninjas who will be able to survive the next zombie apocalypse.

Have you ever told your friend how much he means to you?

I don’t think so. But I believe I show it to him whenever I can. Whenever he goes away on a trip, I offer to bring him to the airport. For the longest time, I would drive him home after karate class, even when he wasn’t on my way home. I get him gifts sometimes. Once, I paid for one of his karate camps. When I’m away on a karate trip on which he couldn’t come, I manage to film fights that I know he’d like.

How did he react?

No specific reaction. I know he knows, and he does things for me too. We just know.

I decided to interview my brother who is currently 13 years old. He has a friend who is a male & bisexual. They have known each other from a young age and I’ve watched their friendship grow as well as the person they have become. I never asked how it feels to be friends with him because I feel like it’s different with girls and boys. Most of my guy friends use the word “gay” as an insult or to make fun of things. In order to understand their friendship, I asked him a couple questions.

Q:Why are you close with Anakin?

A: I’m close with him because we’ve known each other since the 2nd gradeand been friends ever since. I guess we just have a good bond.

Q:What kinds of things do you like to do together?

A:Well we usually like to play video games and just chill together when we have time.

Q:How do you feel about him being bisexual?

A: I don’t have a problem with it, like it’s his choice and if he’s happy then I’m happy for him.

Q: What happens if he likes you?

A: That’s impossible because we know each other’s boundaries and we’re basically brothers.

Q:Have you ever told your friend how much he means to you?

A:I don’t think I have to need to since we’ve been friends for like 7 years, that basically just shows that our friendship means a lot to each other.

I analyzed that maybe at a young age, they don’t really know how to express their feelings. In “No Man Is an Island: Men in Relationships” by Christopher Kilmartin and Andrew P. Smiler, they describe different types of relationships and I feel like they’re friendship is more in the “buddy” stage since they don’t show much emotional support. They just vibe with each other and enjoy doing activities together.

I interviewed Jiang, a 45 years old man. He has a static work, a 17 year-old daughter and a beautiful wife. He also has many friends, and he consider one of them, let’s name him A, as his best friend. Jiang believes that A is go-getter, and A often gives him constructive feedback to his confusion about investment. Jiang prefers to stay with A, they always have comfortable conversations and feel relax with each other. Sometimes they go to tea-house together after work, sometimes they go fishing together. At one time, when they were enjoying their meal, Jiang told A that he considered A as his best friend and brother. At the same time, A told Jiang that he was glad to hear what Jiang said, and he considered Jiang as his brother too. They both hope to enjoy the life with the help of each other.

No man is an island: men in relationships. As a common man, Jiang has a family relationship with his daughter and wife, a working relationship with his supervisor and colleagues, and a friendship with his best friend and friends. Broadly speaking, Every man has a Series of relationships, because people are members of a variety of social system and are dependent on others for information, resources support and human contact, just as Chinese adage says that a good man has three gangs.