School is an institution to educate children and the way to interact with other people. School is where the knowledge of the children comes from and to learn the basis of our world. Children starts to have fights with others that became a problem and since then, it is still happening. As what in masculinities studies, it has similarities of situations like the children, parents and institutions.

Firstly, violence is everywhere that also happens in school that most of the students are getting into fights between boys and girls, and girls are experiencing sexual assaults by male students. To correlate it to what I have learned in class is that boys are into fights and that it’s okay for them to be involved because it’s said that violence will make them a man or to have sex with the opposite sex. As well, they should not show their emotions as what the masculinities studies have revealed, however that is the society wants them to perceive themselves. In reality, boys have the rights to show their true emotions even though, it is not manly enough because they should decide themselves, not other’s opinion or by their judgement. Violence is not the answer to be a man but being respectful to other people is a great personality to have within ourselves, so that people will respect us back.

Secondly, parents doesn’t know anything about what’s happening in their children’s school and it’s just the fact that they don’t really ask. That’s why, it’s a problem in masculinity too. They would not know the true feelings or emotions of their sons and their true identity. Parents might try to make their sons fit into society’s ideal of a man, but they don’t know that it makes their children feel distant from them. As results, children do not open up to their parents that much, from the teachers or counselors too as they’re having hard time to show their true selves. Good thing that there are some people who wants to reveal the problem just like the media. As for the masculinity, there are a community called LGBTQ who fights for the rights of being free, free from being a man and to be different and be accepted to the society.

Thirdly, school boards don’t talk anything about violence. They tried to avoid it because they think that it can ruin their reputations, just like the principals. They take actions, but it’s not enough to give justice to the victims. Victims are still scared because the attackers can still do it again. School boards are keeping it secrets and hiding to everyone. They think giving suspensions to the attackers can solved the problem but it’s not enough. Just like gendered institutions, they show that institutions are gendered equality. That male and female are equal. In reality, it’s far from equal. They made us believe of something that it’s easy for them to handle or to hide. Just like the gender identity and the salaries of the opposite sex. Men have higher salary and have better opportunity of jobs rather than women who are socially inferior in jobs just because of the physical strength. Therefore, they want us to turn a blind eye to it.

To conclude, there is always a problem and that the problem of masculinity is still present until now. But seeing the violence in masculinity or in school either way, it is still not far from each other. The experience of the two is uncanny. Violence is everywhere that is hard to prevent it. Stand what is right and fight it. Accept our true self and have courage to flaunt it to the world. Having self confidence is the key to acceptance.

An International Women’s week held in the auditorium where four great women spoke mostly about Indigenous and Muslim women. It separated into two days of conferences. They taught me a lot of things that I didn’t know about and heard their stories.

Indigenous people are the first ones who have settled here in Canada. I found out that Indigenous women are 12 times more likely to be murdered than non-Indigenous women and that 90% of visible sex workers are Indigenous. Also, Indigenous people has an intergenerational trauma and has a colonization as gendered oppression and have experienced genocide. These facts relate to the masculinity that men are likely to sex assault women. They abuse their power to these things because for men, it’s okay to do it. Just like in the episode of Fifth Estate: Lone Wolf, one woman said that her boss will pay her double if she sleeps or have sex with him. And it’s the Status & Achievement, a sexual conquest for them. Furthermore, two indigenous siblings, Aamjiwreaang and Sarnia, have taken an action against climate change and other indigenous women on the front line. “We are not defending nature we are nature defending itself.” This shows that men are not the only who can do things. It’s not just by biological sex differences because in Kimmel: Masculinity, “gender is not an emanation of identity rather than it is an emergent property of interactions, coerced us by others”. It’s the person’s will to do such things.

On the 2nd day, the topic was about Living in the Shadow of Law 21 where were two incredible women in front of us shared their stories. First woman named Nadia Naqui who was born and raised in Quebec. Nadia is proud to be Muslim, and when she was young until she grew up, she witnessed the islamophobia of other people and it has been present all along. Fortunately, she has a father who was there to guide and discipline her. It’s a kind of father who is a “Good family man” providing economical and emotional support for their family. Furthermore, in 2019 the Bill 21 became a law, Nadia campaign the rights of every Muslims with the Bouchard-Taylor Commission and wants to keep her rights to wear hijab while teaching. Apart from it, Laïty Fary Ndiaye, she is a black Muslim who talked about more of the Law 21. She said that the Law 21 supposed to respect the laïcity. She joined a collective group. A collective group who recognizes different women like different religions. She is a part of it, and it shows that they have emotional or social support from each other by helping one another when they need help, and it’s a relationship basic for everyone.

The one thing in common for Indigenous women and Muslim women is that they have been harassed, people have been sexist and misogyny. For Indigenous women, a lot of them got raped and went missing. For Muslim women, they get harassed and people have been racists because of their religion. We think that in Canada, there are less racial stereotypes and an equality of gender roles, but the sad part is that it’s still there invisible in our society. It’s rare, and yet institutionalized (or systematic) racism persists (Omi and Winant, 1993). Therefore, I’m hoping that this racialization will disappear little by little and hoping that the government will act.

I interviewed my guy friend who is older than me and has a best friend for 6 years. He was hesitating a bit to answer the questions but after a moment, he answered with a short solid answers, truthfully.

The first question was why he’s closed to his best friend. He shared that they share interests in sports, games and also, in faith in God. That’s why he met him in a youth group on his church and they served together. In “No Man is an Island: Men in Relationships” by Kilmartin, it emphasizes that there’s a male-male competition and which illustrates the masculine norms that don’t foster egalitarian relationships among boys. Also, that they should be independent and self-sufficient, and they should not need others. However, that contradicts their friendship. When my guy friend need help, his friend is there not always but when they’re together I can see their closeness. They got their closeness because they’re open to each other and they’re not scared to show their real emotions. At first, he said it was too hard but the youth group helped them to connect and became more closer. There are no such thing called competition in their friendship because for them friendship is there to support each other and have someone who is liable.

That brings me to the second question about how he appreciates his friend, he said, that he never fails to say that how his friend means to him and ‘that friend’ supported and helped him when he’s at his lowest. He cares genuinely without asking something in return. And that proves the Kaplan & Rosemann, 2014. Additionally, their friendship has the three relationship basics: the emotional or social support, emotional intimacy and status. That shows, even it’s awkward to show concern because guys don’t do stuffs like this, but as time passed by they grew as a gentlemen. Their friendship became comfortable with the idea of honouring each other.

Gender neutral is what the institutions wants to achieve however, theres still traces of gender inequality. It’s a distinction between male and female, masculine and feminine. He means that female can’t take the role of a male, because there’s a disadvantage for female such as their emotion and action that can’t be like male, that men and women have different tasks, that they have different responsibilities, that women have difficulties to balance the lifestyle of a motherhood and have a hard time to commit to their professions. That can lead men to have the job considering their experiences in the workplace. Therefore, it’s an inequality of gender in institutions. Furthermore, in episode of Man Enough, a topic that men brought up was about domination over women. I can relate on that topic because in our society that is how men portray themselves. In any workplace, men are usually getting the job, the highest they could possibly get in compared to women because they’re capable of doing hard tasks. Also, I learned from them that it’s their job to dominate women and that’s being taught that women are of less value. And they also talked about the gender differences, basically how they learned from the society. To correlate the quotation and the episode of Man Enough, having inequality in gender and having a gendered institution are basically harming men. They got influenced by what the society wants them to be therefore, at the end, they tend to hurt women intentionally or unintentionally. With or without the institution, there should be an equality between men and women.

Masculinities have different definition depending what individual or group of people think of masculinity. He uses it because we, as an individual person, have our own opinion and values. Masculinity has different impact because the word refers to social roles, behaviors that emphasize gender. The quotation is referring to men who wants to change their lives, to have better lives. Leaving behind all the things that they did wrong to women and to be better men. Those men are the ones who are in Man Enough. I believe that they can change the society by encouraging others, by telling other men to just listen to women, support the person and respect them. If women get sexually assaulted, just listen and believe them and that way, women can have a strength to speak up.

The documentary shows different aspects of masculinity, how boys became men and how it changed their lives. It’s hard to watch the video a bit because I can feel their pain through their manly voice. We can’t even see who get bullied in middle school. The researchers said that 1 of 4 boys get bullied in school and 30% notify by adults. It is such a shame because some adults doesn’t even intervene and they think it’s the way to make them a man. Also, some boys wants to play with girls that is one of the reasons they get bullied because boys should “only” play with boys. Furthermore, 99% boys plays video games. They play video games because it is for men, they said. Violence is more likely to define how to be a man. It’s just disappointing to say that masculinity needs violence which is in fact it isn’t. Thirdly, sex violence is scary especially for women. Every 9 seconds, women get sexual assaulted by men. They think that it’s normal because of what they’ve seen online wanted or unwanted, maybe influenced by friends. But it’s actually unmanly, true men knows the true value of a woman.

In Carlos Andres Gomez book, a part that got my attention was when he wants to show affection to his family and friends but he’s tired of not being able to express his true feelings rather hide it and he’s disappointed about it. The documentary helped me understand that men are just only tough on the outside but they have feelings and emotions too that they cannot express because “true” men don’t show any weaknesses. They do manly things in order to be masculine. No matter how tough they are, they feel pain, sadness and even fear.

” I’m tired of not being able to show affection to my brothers and friends. I’m tired of feeling like I have to hide my emotion and my sensitivity.”

Hate the sin, love the sinner.

I chose Mahatma Gandhi as an inspirational man because he is an example, as a leader, to everyone and to his people that we can fight without violence. He used his voice by speaking softly instead of fighting violently. Gandhi fought with intelligence and used his wise words to spark revolution, inspiring many individuals. He led India’s Independence movement in the 1930s and 40s facing down the British colonialists with non-violent protest. He is an inspiration to the Indians until now for what he has done to the country and moved a lot of people around the world with his speech. Now, his speech are now quotes that are used to teach a lesson and to learn from for the youth. Furthermore, Gandhi possessed qualities such as leadership, simplicity and bravery. Leadership was one of Gandhi’s heroic qualities by encouraging people as well as not staining his hands to fight. For me, Gandhi qualifies as an inspirational man as he is an unforgettable role model who is known for changing the world in to a better place by his significant words and he inspires people in our generation, which is why he remains to be one of the inspirational men around the world. And that inspires me to do good things despite all the cruelty in this world, to remain calm and use my voice to speak the truth and to defend myself from others. As Ghandi said, “Hate the sin, love the sinner.”

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