Being a student myself, violence in schools seemed like a more personal topic at first. I have witnessed and experienced verbal and mental abuse in my life so it felt like this topic may be easier to understand. However, while watching the documentary and reading through the article, I realized I have only seen a fraction of what truly happens in schools. The results of CBC’s surveys are absolutely heartbreaking: 41% of boys are physically assaulted in high school, 26% of girls experience unwanted sexual contact and 50% of students do not report the abuse witnessed or experienced. (https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/school-violence-editors-note-1.5331402). Why is it that these numbers are so high? Why is it that these incidents are happening over and over again? I could not begin to wrap my head around the fact that so many children are being harmed; I felt the same shock as some of the unaware parents from the documentary!

I started thinking about the bullying boys experience first. Jayden Trudell was attacked by fellow students on school property and suffered horrendous injuries. After taking lots of time off from his studies to focus on recovery, the boy made it back to school. When asked in the documentary if he felt safe, even with his attackers gone, he simply replied no. The school did their part in expelling the bullies given the violent nature of this attack but did not seem to have changed their overall procedures for victims. Jayden still feels unsafe while trying to learn and has taken up boxing in a way to defend himself. This ONE case shows us two things: boys will continue to be violent and schools will continue to not do enough. The documentary included a few sentences that other victims of violence have said. The one that stood out to me was the boy who went to his administration for help and was told to “toughen up”. (https://gem.cbc.ca/media/marketplace/season-47/episode-4/38e815a-011d8f47088). This phrase is one that we have seen and heard over and over again in our class. Boys are taught from a young age to behave a certain way to avoid seeming weak. I believe that school boards are enabling these damaging behaviours all under the umbrella saying of “boys will be boys”. 

In Kilmartin and Smiler’s “Defining Men’s Studies”, we learnt about the set of traits and roles of men in the United States. I believe that this would also include Canada since the two share the same Western culture. In terms of behaviours, men are supposed to be: tough, dominant, competitive and take control. We also learnt that the few acceptable emotions to display are anger and lust. High school is a very defining time in boys and girls lives. It’s a place where you can quickly climb and fall down a “social hierarchy”. The boys who play sports are seen as popular whereas the boys who are in other clubs, for example, would not have the same status. This fits right into the author’s box of “status and achievement” (Kilmartin and Smiler, 5). Winning, whether it’s in a fight, on the field or over a woman, has been taught as a very important thing to these boys. Fighting each other establishes dominance and because people have been ignoring the issue for a long time, they continue to give boys slaps on the wrists and excuse it with “you know how boys are”. 

I mentioned the idea of “winning” a woman in the previous paragraph and this is where the violence of young girls in schools comes into play. Boys in high school try to “get” the girls and unfortunately many young women fall victim to sexual violence. ¼ girls face unwanted sexual touching or grabbing AT SCHOOL and 1/7 girls say they have been sexually assaulted by fellow students. (https://gem.cbc.ca/media/marketplace/season-47/episode-4/38e815a-011d8f47088). These numbers are absolutely jarring. In the documentary we see that 3 separate girls came forward in identifying a male student as their rapist and the school suspended the boy for 2 days. These girls now had to continue going to school with a person who harmed them in a terrible way, this is not fair. They should not have to be scared to go learn and acquire their education. School boards need to step up in protecting their female students against male students. Boys need to have the man boxed their taught dismantled because it allows room for these toxic behaviours to sprout. Schools need to do a better job at helping and BELIEVING women when they come forward. They also need to do a better job at allowing boys to come forward with their physical violence. We must normalize letting men talk about their pain and abuse and not respond to them with “man up”. 

I constantly think about the episode of Justin Baldoni’s “Man Enough” that we watched in class. There were grown men sitting together acknowledging that change needs to happen in our society because the culture we have is TOXIC. Although the self reflecting and discussions they had were great, this type of realization needs to happen years earlier. School boards have to acknowledge the role they play in changing as well. If students felt more comfortable with coming forward and actually saw change in procedure, bullying and assault would slowly become less frequent in schools. Change needs to start somewhere and a good place to look has to be letting boys act however they feel and stop enforcing roles onto them. We also can’t push girls aside, more support needs to be offered for victims and we need to do much better at providing protection. Same goes for male victims of physical assault and sexual assault. The fact that they would come forward shows that they have exponentially more strength than their attackers and this needs to be recognized not ignored. The Marketplace documentary shed light on the huge amount of violence in schools; society needs to learn that violence is not an excusable course of action.

In our first presentation, we learnt about climate change, pipelines and violence against women. Unbeknownst to me, all of these things are related to each other. It all comes down to the violence against women in indigenous communities. The Canadian government is illegally setting themselves up on the protected land to force the projects that the indigenous community has already rejected. These men who settle on the land actually harm these women, there has been a direct correlation between these camps and the women. Also, going further back in history, we learnt that homophobia and these more toxic ideals of men and women were brought with colonialism. Indigenous communities had high respect for their women and actually celebrated their LGBTQ+ community, which is known as 2 spirited. I believe the whole concept of the men setting up and taking what they want from the women (as well as their homophobia) directly correlates to Kilmartin’s anti femininity theory. Showing any compassion or emotion would be too “feminine” and that shows weakness as a man. They have to be stoic and be strong to assert their masculinity. Anything other than that would allude to maybe homosexuality or being less of a man, which is not what they’d want.

In the second presentation, two women told us explicitly about their personal experiences with racism being Muslim women in Canada. Mrs. Nadia noticeably faced more outright aggression seeing as she wears the hijab. It seemed that these women faced more discrimination for being a different race rather than being women. HOWEVER, it all stems from the same place of hatred! Why can’t these women live their lives in peace instead of fearing aggressions every day over their religion or race? Bill 21 disabled women and men from wearing certain religious symbols but enabled racists to feel more powerful in speaking out against other people. In taking down this Bill, it would give people the choice of wearing or not wearing their items and remaining unbothered!

My takeaway from everything is that the world is very far from any kind of equality. We are HUGE steps away from women being as respected as men or white people having the same rights as other races. It’s going to take another hundred years for any significant changes to come about because there isn’t enough activism. Ms.Nadia said that an important question to ask ourselves is if we’d want to be a bystander or ally. Every single person needs to work together as allies for our world to be a better place for all!

For this interview, I decided to ask my brother, Theo, the questions about his best friend. They’ve known each other since secondary 1. It’s been a little over 5 years of friendship for them and they’re both 17.

1. Why are you close to your friend?

My friend and I have been very close friends for over five whole years at this point and we both grew up together. We’re still friends because we have good chemistry and are always willing to help out and support one another, leading to a healthy friendship.

2. What kinds of things do you like to do together?

You’ll probably find us playing a video game together. It’s usually a single player game and we just take turns because that’s always more fun. Aside from that, we walk a lot and just talk about anything that comes to mind while outside. If not the latter then we will occasionally bike together or go do some activity like watch a movie or browse a store.

3. Have you ever told your friend how much he means to you? If so, what did you say and how did he react? If you have never told him how much he means to you, why not?

I have told my friend how much he means to me. In my life, I’ve come by very few people who just “get me”. If you’re lucky enough, you’ll find an entire group of friends like that where everyone is in-sync. If you spend enough years with a friend you both eventually become comfortable enough to show some “brotherly love” and that’s exactly what we do. It’s usually a simple “I wanted to remind you that you’re one of my closest friends and I really appreciate our bond”. Or even an “I love you, you’re the best.” on the rarer occasion. I cannot remember how either one of us would’ve reacted upon hearing that for the first time but nowadays it’s mutual and we’re always reciprocating.

In “Masculinity” by Michael Kimmel, he mentions in the third page that institutions create gender differences and have gender procedures. A really interesting point made by the author is that while acquiring a PhD, for example, the system is made around the biological clock of a man. It takes years for you to obtain this degree and its time frame coincides with the age women “should” be having kids. The system is catering to a person who would work uninterrupted for their education no matter what the age. It’s just automatically assumed that a woman would take the time in her late 20s or early 30s to be having a child and staying at home whereas a man would be capable to leave and continue working toward a higher degree in his education. Though this point is never specifically brought up in the episode of “Man Enough”, they do talk about how they were oblivious to these types of social issues before being more aware of the world around them. The men were discussing that to change the current inequalities between men and women, all people need to be aware of the disparities for a change to occur. This issue of institutions being gendered will not change until both men and women work together for there to actually be a difference and equality.

Kimmel uses the term “masculinities” versus the singular masculinity. He does this because he believes there is more than one definition of the word. Depending on where you are in the world and what society you live in, masculinity will be different. The author says that by acknowledging the box men are put in and understanding the imposed definitions of masculinities, we will be able to see change. The same is said with the men in the episode of “Man Enough”. The men all discuss how they are trying to point to the flaws in society’s impositions on men and try to teach their sons and the viewers differently. By having men start a healthy discussion on these issues, there will slowly but surely be change.

Harry Styles was born on February 1st 1994 and gained fame through his former band One Direction. He’s been a prominent figure in the music industry for the last decade, having set records with his group thanks to their immense following.

I think he’s a perfect counter example of anti femininity. In the text, it is said that boys are taught to avoid “feminine” behaviours or interests as well as avoiding showing signs of emotion to appear “weak”. Harry Styles has been praised time and time again for being so bold when it comes to his fashion choices. He’ll wear clothing that doesn’t traditionally appear to be “for men” but rather something that he feels comfortable in that expresses what he’d like to show. He’s also stated in the past that his fashion inspiration is actually Shania Twain.

He’s very in touch with both his masculine and feminine sides which make him overflow with confidence onstage and offstage.

Additionally, he does not shy away from talking about his feelings. He’s a very open man and speaks highly of his female audience in interviews. He’s an open advocate for the LGBT community and usually picks up a few flags and will wave them around onstage during his tours.

Harry Styles strays away from a “normal” man’s man and follows his desires. His fearlessness in being authentic is what makes him so lovely. Again, this is why he is a wonderful example of anti femininity.

While watching this documentary, a couple of things stood out. The first was how young boys are when bullying could start. The boy Ronan in particular had his bullying start at age 6. If you’re being harassed from such a young age about how you’re too “weak” or a “sissy” of course you’ll want to change and shut every emotion down. Using verbal or physical abuse is enough for someone to submit to the stereotype in order to no longer be harassed. A second thing was that any sign of male intimacy, even friendship, would be perceived as gay. This leads to a negative association of the word gay and the actions that boys and men will make. As a girl I hug my friends all the time and have no issues with it. Human beings crave that kind of feeling even if it’s in a total platonic way. It’s strange to think that boys are “not allowed” to hold their friend’s hand or hug them without feeling some kind of weakness or have them feel threatened.

This better helped me understand the part of Carlos Gomez’s book where he visited Zambia. While he was there, he saw men showing signs of physical platonic intimacy and no one had anything negative to say. This shows that America’s view on male “weakness” is very different from other countries’. This must have been a turning point in the man’s life as well cause he saw this behaviour in a nice way versus the negative way he had previously seen it in. Supporting your friends and letting them see your emotions is never a weak or negative thing. Being vulnerable and intimate is actually one of the braver things we as human beings can do!

The man who I have chosen for this blog post is my high school music teacher named Pierre. He was an extremely passionate man who always pushed us to be the best we could be. He himself was a professional trombonist for many years in different orchestras. He eventually had to give up playing seeing as he developed an issue with his jaw that made him unable to keep performing. This didn’t stop him from keeping music in his life by becoming a teacher. Through his teaching and drive to help students understand the importance of music, I discovered my passion. He is the reason I am pursuing music now in CEGEP and hopefully in university next year. For the last 15 years, Pierre has been inspiring and helping students like me discover the beauty of the music world. His love for this art form was felt throughout the classroom and I always think of him whenever I have an important audition approaching. For these reasons, he has inspired me in my life and will continue to inspire others for his whole career.

My favourite food is mac and cheese