For my interview I decided to interview my brother Kane. Along with the suggested questions I asked a few of my own in an attempt to find where our behaviours concerning showing affection in platonic friendships come from. I sat my brother down in our backyard and asked him to share a few words concerning his best friend.

“The hardest part about this is choosing one person to talk about,” he paused to light his cigarette, “but I’d have to say my boy Chris, I love that guy.”

Kane is my older brother, born and raised in the same household as me; I wasn’t surprised when he continued to answer my questions before I could even ask them. Their friendship revolves around the struggle of young adults in their early twenties trying to commit to something they aren’t sure will work out, and therefore they are very in touch with their emotions and are open to talk about it to each other. It is for this same reason that they get along so well. Chris and Kane seem to be inseparable, they went to school together and when I asked what they tend to do together he laughed and said they “forget shit” together. Expanding on that thought he explained how whenever they need to de-stress or get their minds off of something they’ll reach out to each other, usually ending in them playing sports or video games, going to parties or smoking weed. However he made a special effort to mention that they don’t need to be doing anything to enjoy their time together, a seemingly reoccurring factor that shows itself in most if not all “best friendships”. Kane and Chris are vocal about their “bromance” and appreciation for each other, and it’s normal for them to say that they love each other. In other words Kane explained that they both know how much they mean to each other even when they don’t say it, but they make an effort to say it to “remind each other that they can’t get rid of each other”.

Going a bit off script I asked why Kane is so comfortable with showing affection in same sex friendships. To which he responded “What’s there to be scared of?” He explained that we [my and my brothers] were raised to be compassionate especially to our friends, and that there are no reason other than personal insecurities to indulge in that. Everyone likes to be appreciated and there’s no reason friends should feel obligated to hold those feelings from someone who probably feels the same way. The idea that that level of affection is seen as “gay” or “weak” is obscene and completely goes against our nature as social beings. This also goes to show that how we are brought up and the environment we surround ourselves with molds us into the people we are now.

On page 3 of “Masculinity” Kimmel states that “Institutions accomplish the creation of gender difference and the reproduction of gender order through several gendered processes.” In simpler terms the message he is trying to relay is that our environment breeds the inequalities in gender that we see around us today. To get a better understanding of this, we must first understand what a gendered process is. A process that is gendered is one in which the prerequisites of whatever it is you are trying to do, encourages one to adopt traits or characteristics that are normally used to describe either a man or a woman. An example of this is applying for a secretarial position in an office. When we think about a secretary we tend to think of a woman, and the fact that we make that connection without even thinking just goes to show how we have become blinded to the gendered processes that directly enforce gender norms and sexist ideas. An “ideal” secretary is one that is caring and easy to talk to, because part of the job is getting to know whoever it is you are a secretary for. These characteristics tend to describe the socially constructed ideal of a mother (and therefore woman). This seems to be a reoccurring theme, as seen in the fourth episode of “Man Enough”. In which, they push the message that the way everyone lives their day to day life makes a cycle of the behaviour that encourages the objectification of people (mainly women) as sexual beings and nothing more.

In the same text, Kimmel delves into the idea of plural masculinities rather than an ideal singular masculinity. What he means by this is that there are too many different kinds of men to fit into one box. By using plural masculinities to describe how every man is a man in his own sense, we can begin to understand the ” (…) unimaginable possibilities of social change.” that Kimmel speaks about in “Masculinity”. Once again, we see reoccurring themes in the fourth episode of ” Man Enough”, in which they speak about how every man is a man in their own way and all they need to do is take control. This very forward and freeing outlook on the situation at hand reinforces the idea that the possibilities of social change start with individuals (individual masculinities, if you will) and that we are only limited by the barriers that we set ourselves.

Of all the great leaders and inspirational speakers that have changed the world in their various ways, the person I chose for this blog is my brother Joshua. Josh is 25 and is without a doubt a young reckless soul, however his wisdom and experience in dealing with whatever life can throw at him precedes his age.

I grew up with Josh, and always remember him being the cool and rebellious big brother any wide-eyed child could dream of having. This was at a time before I understood mental illness and how it could change one’s life. As I grew older I saw how he had been affected by anxiety and depression throughout even our childhood. I recently was told that he is my half brother. This was news to me, and it did nothing but deepen my appreciation for him. His entire life he had been dealing with his own issues but he never once failed to be a good brother to me.

When I think of someone inspirational I can’t help but picture my brother: the man who was there for me even though he wasn’t sure if he was a part of our family. The qualities that make him inspirational are the same ones that make him a good big brother. Selfless, real, kind and resilient. Most importantly, he’s always glad to be there to pick someone up when they’re feeling low, no matter his own situation. I can’t express in words how his battle with identity has inspired me, and pushed me to always try to be the best me I could possibly be.

Tacos my dude