Violence is a prevailing problem in elementary schools, middle schools and high schools throughout Canada. According to the research made by CBC 41% of boys say they were physically assaulted, 26% of girls say they experienced unwanted sexual contact at school and one in four students first experienced sexual harassment or assault before Grade 7. Fights and verbal harassment can be found at most schools and most of the time boys are the ones involved with these problems. The question here is: Why is violence so prevailing and why are boys more likely to cause violence?

Willingness to fight, desire to fight.

First, whenever a boy is challenged or being picked on everyone expects them to fight. This aggressiveness is one of the main characteristics of masculinity. Indeed, boys are taught that they should engage in the fight and win in order to be recognized. “Give them hell.” was one of the expressions used by Kimmel on the intro to men’s studies it represents how boys will be often confronted. On top of that, wanting to pick fights and win is almost glorified in a certain way, especially during teenage years. This explains how easy it is to begin fights at school or other places like the school bus.

Relationships and Status 

Second, boys are taught that status is important, so competition is also involved with this phenomenon. They want to prove they are better and stronger and that they are not weak. In a lot of cases, they also want to make up for a lack of self-esteem. In addition, another cause of school violence is that friends and peers put pressure on boys. For example, friends can push boys to get involved in fights. It also is common for a group of boys to bully other people together. Boys that disagree with violence will not speak up or report what happened because they are afraid to get rejected since one of the rules of “Bro Code” is no snitching.

Anti-femininity

Third, another of the main characteristics of masculinity is antifemininity this consists on avoiding emotions. This prevents them from being empathetic. The emotions will often accumulate and boil up and will get out eventually, this can take the form of physical aggression.

Sexism

Sexual assault is directly linked to sexism. This is because men tend to think they are superior than women and they consider them as objects. This way of thinking has been taught to them by interactions, the people that surround them, social media, advertisements and the portrayal of men and women in films and TV. They will consider those acts as conquests and as a way to feel superior.

How can we prevent physical assault/fights?

Schools have to raise awareness of how hurtful bullying and school violence is. We as a society can also stop this by changing the idea that boys need to fight and be tough so that physical assault isn’t normalized. Other ways to prevent this kind of violence is to teach the children the importance of emotions and how to handle them as well as giving them resources so that they can seek help if they are experiencing problems in their household or in their life. Lessons on self esteem could also be helpful.

How can we prevent sexual assault?

Putting clear and good policies for these kinds of problems is one of the firsts steps. It is extremely important in order to protect and help the victims and to stop whoever is hurting them. In addition, schools must teach that women are equal to men and that they should be respected. Teaching what exactly is consent and sexual assault is also very important. 

Lastly, we need to change problematic representations of men and women in films TV and social media (this goes for both physical and sexual assault), in order to prevent sexism and challenge the idea of what a man is. It is by breaking apart sexism and masculinity that we will be able to confront the issue of school violence.

He means that institutions are creating gender difference because the positions within the institutions lead us to believe the people are a certain way because of their gender when actually it is the position that determines the way they act. In addition, usually the higher positions are created in such a way that it is geared towards a unique gender. For example: higher positions usually expect the person to be almost completely devoted to his work or role, but this clearly becomes a problem when women give birth and also need to take care of the children. They are also left alone to deal with that which doesn’t help. In the discussion, they talked about the inequalities between genders and how they are trying to change that by raising their kids along with their partner and teaching their children to respect and appreciate women. Another thing from the documentary that can be linked to what Kimmel said about gender being situational is how the men change their behaviours depending on the environment/situation (friends, family and workplace).

            When talking about masculinities Kimmel suggests that there are multiple definitions for what it means to be a man. He uses this term because he thinks the term “masculinity” doesn’t encompass all the different forms of masculinity that exists in our world. The quotation “Understanding how we do masculinities…opens up the unimaginable possibilities of social change.” means that we are constantly creating and changing gender with our actions. The documentary talks about breaking or changing the man box in order to stop and prevent violence against women this is an example of how understanding better gender and society we can change things for the better. 

Karl Largerfeld was mostly known as the creative director of Chanel (A luxury company for high fashion and accessories). He is recognized because he was the one who made Chanel rise to fame and prestige once again after some difficult times for the company. He was also the creative director of Fendi (another luxurious brand) and he possessed his own label of clothing. His net worth was estimated to 300 million dollars and his salary was 50 million per year. Karl was admired and respected because of the sheer number of fashion creations that he invented in the 20th and 21th century.

On the other hand, he was suspected of being misogynistic and racism. He also made some fat shaming comments that showed a true lack of respect for women.

One of the comments he made was: ‘The thing at the moment is Adele. She is a little too fat, but she has a beautiful face and a divine voice.’ Another comment he made is that he was fed up with the me too movement and he said: “It’s unbelievable. If you don’t want your pants pulled about, don’t become a model! Join a nunnery, there’ll always be a place for you in the convent. They’re recruiting even!”

I think Karl Largerfeld fits the category of “Status and Achievement” because he had a great deal of power within the fashion industry and he got himself a title as one of the most renowned creative directors of the clothing and luxury world. If we measure his success with the money that he accumulated in his career I think we can say he is within the most successful people in the world. He is the classic example of a white man that makes a lot of money. In addition, the offensive comments he made about women could be an example of the feeling that women are inferior to men.

Sources:

https://www.celebritynetworth.com/richest-businessmen/richest-designers/karl-lagerfeld-net-worth/

https://www.huffingtonpost.ca/entry/karl-lagerfeld-slams-the-me-too-movement-models-that-complain-about-being-groped_n_5ad49b6ae4b0edca2cbbfedd

https://www.bbc.com/news/entertainment-arts-47303921

Hommage à Karl Lagerfeld, oui, mais… n’est-ce pas un misogyne et un grossophobe?

https://www.lapresse.ca/vivre/mode/201902/20/01-5215449-lheritage-de-karl-lagerfeld.php

The documentary presented the gender norms and the need to fit in the box of “masculinity”. These two things at first sight don’t look to troublesome but by watching the documentary I was able to see the harmful way boys are raised. To me the idea of not letting the children do what they like or be who they are is quite horrible. The denial and constant disapproval of emotions such as fear, care, sadness leaves young buys with no room to breathe. It pushes them change who they are for this “persona” of the strong and happy guy, leaving behind what truly mattered to them.

The other thing that stuck out to me was the consequences of a high number of young men affected by depression and sadness. From the numbers we got, it was clear that ADHD, suspension and dropping school were significantly more likely to happen to boys than girls. It looks to me like they are sick, and yet society completely ignores this and continues to follow old ideas about what a man is.

In the book by Carlos Andres Gomez, the seeking of affection and connection between men is one of the main topics of the story. By watching the documentary, I think I am better able to understand what Carlos was going through. The Mask You Live In talked about the loss of connection that affects men and how the feeling of loneliness and sadness surrounds them. Because of this, men struggle to build deep relationships with family, friends, etc. 

One of the firsts examples that came to my mind when thinking about an inspirational man, was Uncle Iroh from the tv show Avatar the Last Airbender. Uncle Iroh seems to be able to remain calm and to enjoy life. At the same time, he guides his nephew through decisions and difficult times. He focuses on others and learns from different people. He listens to others and is extremely patient with his nephew. He always has good advice and is ready to help everyone even strangers.

In our world, I think Martin Luther King has been an inspiration for many of us. The way he chose to fight peacefully over violence and hatred is admirable. I would hope all of us can learn something from his actions. He decided he wanted a better future for children of color, so he went against the violation of human rights. And his speech is known by plenty of people now days as well as the phrase: “I have a dream”

I think that, to be inspirational, a person has to be an example of what you aspire to be or do. Someone can inspire people because of his work, his music or art. On the other hand, someone might be an inspiration because of the values that he or she possesses. They can also be inspirational by presenting to you new perspectives and a way of life that you may want to follow. In conclusion, someone that gives us a lesson or insight in our life.  

My name is Ileana and my favourite food is : quesadillas