School violence is constantly on the rise and is not being taken as serious despite its severity. With the evolution of technology, it is becoming easier for people to speak ill of one another and can go as far as bullying through social media. Although both sexes suffer from school violence, it tends to be men who usually instigate this behavior. After studying Kilmartin’s reports throughout the semester, it is quite clear as to why males typically have these manners. Having witnessed multiple fights growing up, it is clear that men have a bigger tendency of fighting to harden their pride. In the documentary we also learn that school boards tend to hide the incidents which occurred by labeling it as something else or not making people aware that it has happened.

As mentioned in Kilmartin’s “Defining Men’s Studies”, men are usually associated with characteristics given to fighters, such as “[s]trong, [t]ough, [a]ggressive, [p]hysical, …” which manipulates their tendencies to fit this ideology. (2) We learn that being a “real man” in most societies often refers to being the toughest and most fearless individual. Due to these stereotypes, men often try and live up to the traits they “should” have and resort to violence in order to prove that they are “real men.” In most cases, fights break out from verbal disputes and are used as defense mechanisms when one feels threatened or is not capable of responding verbally. A study in “Men at Work: Jobs, Careers, and Masculinity” explained that men try to obtain the most power possible to feel superior. (Kilmartin 229) This is correlated to fighting as men try to prove they are the “Alpha Male”, untouchable by others. By doing so, they are not only perceived as more dominant but make the other males seem weaker further improving their reputation of being a “real man.”

Growing up, I have been apart and witnessed many physical fights. Most cases were slight disputes taken out of hand and resulted in someone getting hurt unnecessarily. Often times, these fights broke out over people having a crush on the same girl and would use violence to try and win them over. It was their way of demonstrating that they are “real men” and would defend as well as provide for her if they were together. Stereotypes affect the way that men perceive certain traits. In most movies, we see the attractive cheerleader falling for the tough jock which tricks men into believing that they are able to win over a female’s heart by being aggressive. In one of Deborah David and Robert Brannon’s books, they explain that “American masculinity ha[s] four primary characteristics”, one being “[s]tatus and [a]chievement” (“Defining Men’s Studies” Kilmartin 4,5). A victory from a physical fight builds up a man’s status and as a result, they continue these acts of violence in order to strengthen their reputation.

In the documentary, we learn that many school boards shy away from sharing incident reports which have occurred in order to preserve their reputation. Some schools have even gone to the extent where they do not address the number of annual incidents to students and do not approach victims of school violence. Instead, students feel as though they have no one to talk to and are scared to express situations they might have experienced. Despite awareness being brought to this topic, not many schools have taken too much action to reduces the chances of violence occurring and continue their days as though it is not an issue.

Schools need to take more action in order to reduce the ongoing violence. Measures need to be put in place to better monitor bullying and verbal offenses to prevent fights from being instigated. Although we cannot fully eliminate stereotypes, men need to find ways of not believing everything they hear. If the education system becomes more severe about punishments, violence should decrease instead and students will be able to focus more on their education rather than worrying about being harmed by others.

Works Cited

Kilmartin, Christopher, and Andrew P. Smiler. “Defining Men’s Studies.” The Masculine Self, Cornwall On Hudson, NY, Sloan Publishing, 2019, pp. 1–7.

Christopher Kilmartin and Andrew P. Smiler “Men at Work: Jobs, Careers and Masculinity.” The Masculine Self, Cornwall On Hudson, NY, Sloan Publishing, 2019, pp. 221-226,228–235.

The two sessions I had attended in the auditorium provided me with a lot of information that should be exposed to many others. On Monday, Lucy Everett and Jen Gobby explained the current issues with climate change, the primary difference between consent and consultation as well as the history of Indigenous people. On Wednesday, Nadia Naqvi and Laity Fary Ndiaye,brought our attention to Muslim women, Bill 21 and discrimination.

Mrs. Everett and Mrs. Gobby went into depth about many critical issues regarding our planet and our country. We learned that around 89% of Canada’s land belongs to the Indigenous people and that we exploit their land without their permission. As mentioned in the previous paragraph, consent vs consultation was a key point in their presentation. Consultation is the act of informing someone whereas consent is them accepting. The Canadian government is currently in the process of building a pipeline on the Indigenous land without the Indigenous people’s consent. The big issue with this is that this type of behavior is related to another rising problem in many countries, rape. As mentioned in the documentary “Man Enough?” and Kimmel’s “Masculinity”, men tend to have this violent and aggressive attitude which causes them to do things that are not ethically correct. The two presenters related the actions taking place by the government to the majority of people in charge being men- doing things their way without everyone involved being in full agreement.

The second presentation explained the current situation with Bill 21 and the discrimination of Muslim women. As mentioned on the website Chatelaine, Bill 21 “intend[s] to eradicate religious symbols in most of the public sector.” Although all religions are affected by this law, it has the most impact on Muslim women. An important piece of clothing which religious Muslim women wear is the hijab. They are put in a difficult situation because they must choose between their religion and their job. Unlike many other religions where a necklace or other piece of jewelry is used to symbolize their beliefs and is easy to hide, it is very hard to hide a hijab. Nadia Naqvi and Laity Fary Ndiaye both witness and suffer from this discrimination. They are both judged for their skin color, clothing and beliefs. Bill 21 is encouraging more and more younger Muslim women to stop wearing hijabs.

Both sessions were eye opening and brought up issues and history that is not addressed by many. I was surprised to learn about the different laws and actions taking place that are greatly affecting women. Both scenarios involve the government and it relates one of Kimmel’s articles where he explained how many societies objectify women and treat them like they have less value.

Sources

Land Ownership in Canada – https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Land_ownership_in_Canada

Quebec’s Secularism – https://www.chatelaine.com/news/quebec-secularism-bill-21-women/

For this blog post I interviewed my neighbor Nick. The following paragraphs will show his responses to the three questions regarding the blog post and explain how they relate to Kilmartin’s “No Man Is an Island: Men in Relationships.”

Nick struggled to find a direct answer when first being asked why him and his best friend, Ryan, are so close. After hearing his response, it was obvious that their friendship meets a lot of the qualities in Kilmartin’s Relationship Basics, primarily: “[p]ractical support[… ,] [e]motional or social support[… and] [e]motional intimacy[.]” (162) Nick explained that Ryan provides him with the support and motivation he feels he needs when things are not going well. Whenever there is a conflict, Ryan is always there for him. Nick also stated that him and Ryan are able have deep conversations about most things without either of them being reluctant to participate.

They spent their entire childhood together- going to the same elementary school, high school and CEGEP. When I asked Nick what activities they enjoyed doing together, he explained that whenever there is the opportunity for them do something as a group, they call each other right away. As mentioned in Kilmartin’s article, this bond allows for their relationship to solidify and be more open to one another.

The last question I asked Nick was if he had ever expressed his appreciation towards Ryan. He answered with “even though I never verbally told him how much he means to me, our day-to-day says it all.” He shies away from telling Ryan because he does not want anything to be taken the wrong way and risk breaking that trust and honesty they have between one another. He finished with “Ryan is my best friend and I do not need to tell him how much he means to me for him to know that I appreciate everything he does for me.”

Some institutions encourage the thought of gender difference and gender order. A primary example is the music industry, specifically rappers. More and more rappers are releasing music with lyrics that are demeaning to women. As said in the documentary, a majority of men objectify women. Unfortunately, this mindset has been embedded into many societies. Many women who have been victims of abuse or harassment are scared to open up because they feel as though no one will believe them. Susan Brison was attacked by a man and was not believed when she told other people what happened. They just told her she must have been hit by a car. With many institutions having this type of mindset, it seems as though the violent actions and objectification of women is being condoned instead of being condemned.

In Kimmel’s article, he goes into depth about plural masculinities. This term is used to demonstrate that different groups in society define masculinity differently. He prefers using this word since there is not one fixed definition that fits everyone’s beliefs. Kimmel’s four main arguments are: “masculinities vary across cultures” (1), “definitions of masculinity vary considerably in any one country over time” (1), “definitions of masculinity change over the course of a person’s life” (2), “the meanings of masculinity vary considerably within any given society at any one time.” (2) In the documentary, the cast members explain how in America’s society, men are raised to be the strong ones. They are taught that the only tolerable emotion to show is anger and trained to be the protectors of the family. Although most people do associate this to masculinity, Justin Baldoni and Lewis Howes express the importance of being able to open up and understand people. We see in their reflection that over time their perspectives of masculinity changes based on their past experiences and things they have witnessed.

I learned a lot from watching this documentary. I found it very interesting when they said that men are far more reserved about their emotions than women. They explained how society forces an image that all men need to be strong and show no sympathy, and that anger was the only “acceptable” emotion men could express.

Something else that really surprised me was when they asked the young football player how he would feel if his coach said he played like a girl. To many men that sentence is taken as a big insult since coaches are usually implying that when their player is being soft. This is primarily due to men in society believing that women are the ones who should be sensitive, not men. The coach uses “playing like a girl” as a way of motivating his playing to be more aggressive since the player does not want to seem weak in front of his teammates or anyone watching.

When Carlos visits Zambia, he is very uncomfortable with how different their society is. They are far more accepting to physical contact between the same sex. The reason Carlos has that level of discomfort is because most societies would consider that to be gay. It is seen completely different in America which is why he feels so uneasy. He is scared of being judged or bullied, similar to what we see in the documentary. A lot of men fear opening up about things because it does not meet society’s norms.

An athlete who has inspired me from a young age is Kobe Bryant. He was in my opinion the greatest shooting guard to play the game of basketball. His dedication and work ethic was like no other. He was a born leader who feared nothing. I was always inspired by his loyalty and hard work. He played his entire 20 year career with the Los Angeles Lakers. Bryant was passionate about everything he did and always pushed himself beyond his limits. His recent passing is very tragic and will have a large effect on many.

Thank you for everything. 

R.I.P Kobe ;/

My favourite food is general tao chicken.