Schools are supposed to be an educational and social place for students to learn and interact with others. However, how come students don’t feel safe at school? It is important to know that this issue does not only happen on male or female students. But, it also happens between students and some cases also involve teachers. Yet, if the numbers are continuously increasing years by years, how come “77% of schools have reported not a single incident”? (CBC News)

 Before diving into the topic, I want to explain the reasons why I chose this topic. First, I chose this topic because I consider this topic to be fairly relatable because we’re all students. Second, I chose this topic because school violence is one of the most critical problems in which it doesn’t only affect student’s physical health, but it also torments their psychological and mental health. But, I feel like schools are not fully taking actions to protect their students, meanwhile they are more focused on creating a good reputation and image to the community. Additionally, schools play an essential role in student’s life. Because students are mostly spending their times in school, the negative experiences suffered in school could lead to serious future damages. Therefore, I feel the need to bring more attention to the topic of school violence. Throughout the paper, I’ll based my arguments and facts on secondary research such as the “School Violence” documentary and I’ll also further support with several in-class readings.

First of all, school violence doesn’t limit to only physical injuries. It also includes serious issues such as sexual assault, mental harms, bullying, etc… According to the documentary, “41 per cent of boys say they were physically assaulted at high school; 26 per cent of girls say they experienced unwanted sexual contact at school; and one in four students first experienced sexual harassment or assault before Grade 7.” (CBC News) Looking at this numbers, it is frightening how this only represents a portion of the entire world. In other words, if we gather the data and statistics from countries to countries, how enormous would the numbers be? Also, while analyzing these numbers, a question has arisen: what causes school violence? Many argues that it is caused by the diversity of races and ethnicity. Other might say that it is caused by gender-based norms and so on… However, why should factors such as gender, religion, race considered as a metric to measure a person’s vulnerability to get hurt? “Social scientists use the term “racialization”, or “racialized identities”, to remind us that we are socially conditioned to observe differences in people, to group people according to those differences, and to hold beliefs about what those differences mean.” (Kwan-Lafond 225) To put it differently, we as humans, we’re the ones that have associate the different labels and prejudices on victims which has made them more vulnerable than others.

Now, let’s further analyze the concept of gender-based violence. As mentioned previously, results have shown that “41 per cent of boys say they were physically assaulted at high school; 26 per cent of girls say they experienced unwanted sexual contact at school”. Looking at the statistics, we directly see a connection between young boys and violence. Why? According to Kimmel, “Competition is one component of masculinity that seems to contribute to boys’ and men’s difficulty to achieving relational intimacy.” (Kimmel 165) Traditional male gender roles have been carrying the label of “real man”. Since a young age, men have taught to be independent and to resolve everything with their fist. Therefore, they would avoid everything that would involve emotional sharing. In other words, they believe that communicating is not an option to resolving a problem. So, they express their anger through physical violence such as the use of weapon, threatening, etc… Examining the numbers, almost half of the boys have been physically assaulted. This percentage makes me draw a correlation that a major reason of it has to do with masculinity. Young boys in school obey under a hierarchical system. In other words, boys would form and associate themselves in gangs in groups to prevent isolation. To do so, they have to challenge themselves to be dominant and independent to be accepted. Everything is based under the ideology of power and control. If they are too weak, they would be rejected and be seen as a sissy. “Violence is often the single most evident marker of manhood.” (Kimmel 148) The pressures of the label “masculinity” that society has repetitively forced on boys have led them into toxic behaviours. Why is that? Imagine the amount of pressures that you have to suffer as a boy. First, you can’t show any signs of being weak or “girly”. To put it in another way, you can’t be emotional or share your feelings with others. On top of that, you need to always keep the figure and impression of a strong, reliable, independent men no matter if it’s in school, with friends or at home. At school and with friends, you want them to perceive you as a “real man” in order to be accepted and to have the feeling of belongingness. At home, you want to meet you father’s expectation on you, so you’ll toughen up to get his approval. Therefore, when can men truly be themselves? Relating it to the documentary “Man Enough”, Tony Porter mentioned “we talk a lot about this man box, in the box is everything such as be though, be aggressive, be dominating…”. Similarly, in the “School violence” documentary, boys have commented “I was told…I needed to toughen up”. It is not a coincidence that terms such as man up, be a real man, don’t be a sissy, etc… occurs in many different platforms. They are actually signs telling us that men are suffering and that they need help. Furthermore, there are studies telling us that “young boy’s sadness and anger have led them to feel violent.” (Niobe Way)

On the other end of the spectrum, the statistics show that “26 per cent of girls say they experienced unwanted sexual contact at school”. As we could see, the nature behind these two issues are gender-based. Despite being in the 21^st century, women have always been seen as inferior to men. Many women are often objectified as sexual object. In other words, they are seen as reproduction slaves. Therefore, many men were taught to be misogynistic. Since men usually associate women with sexual activities, most of the men wouldn’t bother to ask for the women’s consent. These beliefs and ideology have been passed on from descendent to descendent which has caused that women are still the target and victims of sexual harassment. Based on the documentary, “1 in 4 girls say that they face unwanted sexual touching and grabbing and 3 in 5 girls didn’t report to school because they are aware that nothing will happen.” Looking at the numbers, it is ridiculous how young girls that haven’t even met the age of 15 are being sexual assaulted by men. On top of that, it is depressing knowing that more than 60% of them don’t report to school because they are aware that schools won’t take any actions. Many of the victims have said that after coming forward, they would be the ones who are criticized and punished. Why should victims be the ones who get the blames? Considering the enormous courage that they need to gather to speak up, why are schools still ignoring their situation? Young girls have always been seen as weak and vulnerable because of their gender and of their biological differences. However, knowing this, why is schools not implementing any measures to protect students from gender-based violence?

In conclusion, while school should be a place to learn and to socialize, students are actually scared of going to school. Students are feeling unsafe and unprotected. According to the documentary “School violence”, Jayden Trudell has argued that ‘school is more survival related, I’m actually more worried about the kids than the grades”. Knowing this, why should an educational establishment be seen as a survival maze rather than a comforting learning environment? What should we do to make students feel accepted and safe at school? The first approach or measure that schools should take is probably to be more transparent about their data. This is the first step to reducing violence because we need to identify the real problem before being able to implement measures. On top of that, schools should probably change or manage their public image. To put it differently, nowadays, most of the students associate schools with discomfort and danger. Therefore, the first step to correcting that should probably changing their image in student’s heart. To do so, schools should implement programs in which it will demonstrate to students that they truly care about student’s well-being. Also, as mentioned above, educational establishment should care less about their reputation and release critical information that would actually help the violence in school situation. Lastly, is it important to respect others no matter their gender, religion and races. We are all unique and we all have flaws, therefore we should learn to accept others to be able to live collectively.

Works Cited

CBCnews, CBC/Radio Canada, gem.cbc.ca/media/marketplace/season-47/episode-4/38e815a-011d8f47088.

Christopher Kilmartin and Andrew P. Smiler. “No Man Is an Island: Men in Relationships.” The Masculine Self, Cornwall On Hudson, NY, Sloan Publishing, 2019, pp. 161–171.

Danielle Kwan-Lafond. Racialized Masculinities in Canada

Jere, Kate, et al. “School-Related Gender-Based Violence Is a Major Barrier to Education Equality.” Global Partnership for Education, 13 May 2015, www.globalpartnership.org/blog/school-related-gender-based-violence-major-barrier-education-equality.

Kimmel, Michael. Masculinity as Homophobia. 1994.

“Man Enough Episode 4 – #MeToo.” Facebook Watch, http://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=2129001024007697.

“Violence in Schools: Causes, Effects and Prevention.” UKEssays.com, http://www.ukessays.com/essays/education/the-history-of-school-violence-education-essay.php.

Way, Niobe. “Why Are Boys So Violent?” HuffPost, HuffPost, 22 July 2013, http://www.huffpost.com/entry/boys-mental-health_b_3263318.

“Why CBC Started Looking into Violence in Schools | CBC News.” CBCnews, CBC/Radio Canada, 9 Nov. 2019, http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/school-violence-editors-note-1.5331402.

During the International Women’s Week, our class visited to presentations under the theme of Backlash. On Monday, we listened to the “Climate change, pipelines and violence against women presented by Lucy Everett and Jen gobby. The main focus of the speech was about indigenous women who struggles to maintain theirs rights and territory. On the other hand, on Thursday, we learned about “Living in the shadow of Law 21” presented by Nadia Naqvi and Laïty Fary Ndiaye. This presentation talked about stereotypical views on muslim women, islamphobia and other social injustices.

In the first seminar, Lucy Everett started the presentation by mentioning that climate change is an issue that affects various factors such as political, social, economical and environmental. She also mentioned that “climate change tends to target population that are already vulnerable by different firms and institutions.” These people are indigenous community, also known under the name of native people. These people survive based on the natural environment and resources that their land and territory provide to them. However, many institutions and organizations neglect their existence and wants to extract them from their home. As an example, the guest speaker mentioned that “FSC organization forced more than 80% of the indigenous women to move away of their territory.” These people are already vulnerable and miserable due to the different consequences of climate change. But, organization such as FSC forced them to move while their survival needs depend on the natural resources.

In the second seminar, Nadia Naqvi introduced the topic by giving a general background of herself. Her story was emotional and it helped the audience to better understand her experience and position. She mentioned that she has faced islamophobia ever since she was in kindergarten. At the age of 6, her dad got beaten up by some strangers. The citizen saw his dad in his car and forcefully pulled him out and beat him. Additionally, while this tragic incident happened, his little brother who was 4 happened to witness the whole situation. Apart from that, she also shared many stories that were related to discrimination, racism and some terrorism related statements. On the other hand, Laïty Fary Ndiaye supported the speech by emphasizing on Bill 60 where governmental institutions showed pictograms in which it limited religious people from wearing specific clothing or symbols such as the hijab, kippah…

These two seminars really helped me understand that everyone is facing their own challenge no matter their “identity”. Relating to our class material, we have read different readings, watched documentary, etc… about how masculinity plays a major role in men. However, it is the same thing for indigenous people and muslim women. They are all facing different expectations and injustices due to the social labels that society have forced on them. We’re in 2020. We’re considered as the most open-minded and rights protective generation. However, why does gender, race, religion and status injustices still remain present? Did we really try to stop and help the different victims to stand up and live their lives freely?

For this blog, I interviewed my brother because I think that he is the perfect candidate for this interview. Why? Since me and my brother are really close, I am more confident to get information out of his mouth. On top of that, I see him everyday at home so it’s more convenient for me to reach out to him. Who is your best friend?: His best friend is a friend that he met at the age of 16. He has met his friend since high school and they kept in contact up until now. He chose him as a best friend because he mentioned that time doesn’t matter to him. He has met friends that he knew from the elementary school, but their personality has changed over time, therefore he didn’t consider him as a close friend anymore.

What kinds of things do you like to do together?: Most of time, they spent time to each other on video games. However, when they do get times to meet with each other, they would go to YMCA to play sports together. Rarely, they would invite each other to their houses because my brother prefer taking this opportunity to do an activity outside of the house.

Have you ever told how he means to you?: This question is a little bit ambiguous because my brother do tell his best friend how much he meant to him. But, he doesn’t do that on a regular basis. Based on what he told me, his relationship with his friends are more the type to “go with the flow”. They don’t have a particular date designed to sharing emotional feelings. But, when one of them realize that the other’s facial expression is not right. One of them would mention it and they would put more time to talk about the subject matter.

According to the text, “stereotypically male activities such as watching or talking about sports , playing video games and “bar” games…”. This perfectly represents my brother because that’s what he usually do with his best friends because they both work so they don’t have time to go out. However, my brother is a perfect counter example for “Homophobia is perhaps the greatest barrier to friendships between men.” Based on the text, the author kept describing how men would distant themselves from physical interaction because they are afraid that they would be perceived as “gay” men. However, my brother has never took that into consideration. He would show affection to his best friend whenever it’s needed. But, one of the biggest challenge for their relationship is that they would only talk about their problem if one of them actually brought the subject up. If not, they would avoid speaking about personal things with each other.

There are many institutions that supports gender difference such as in the entertainment and art industry. In the meantime, there are also a lot of institutions that promotes gender order such as school and hospitals . In Michael Kimmel’s text, he mentioned “Institutions accomplish the creation of gender difference and the reproduction of gender order through several gendered processes.” (Kimmel 3) Based on this quote, Michael Kimmel means that institutions are imposing specific characteristics and expectations towards men and women. As an example, in the workplace, gender inequity has always been present. It has been years that politician has argue for women rights and equity. However, there are still many women who perform the same jobs as men, but they are still underpaid because of their gender. In Man enough, the group of men are all high status people. However, they have decided to make an episode on masculinity, and how to help women. “When everything blew up and the world started talking about it and people started finally listening to the women who had been, unfortunately, talking into an echo chamber for years, it made it a little easier to get some men together,” Baldoni explains.

As for “masculinities”, Michael Kimmel used this term to define many “definition” of masculinity based on the era, the culture, the expectations, the stage of life… Therefore, we can argue that masculinities is the right word to define men since everyone is unique. So, men’s definition of masculinity can differ based on different aspects. In Man enough episode 4, Lewis Howes which is an entrepreneur has shared that he has been physically abused when he was a child. However, he felt insecure to share it with his surroundings because he fears how his pairs will perceive him afterwards. But, when he finally did share his experience, he felt relieved and proud of his decision. This episode supports the idea described by Michael Kimmel which is “By pluralizing the term we acknowledge that masculinity means different things to different groups of people at different times.” (Kimmel 2)

Shawn Mendes, also known under the name of Shawn Peter Raul Mendes is a Canadian singer. He is born on August 8, 1998. Despite his age, he is a talented artist. In 2013, he started sharing cover videos on various platforms. After a couple of month, his reputation skyrockets. At first, he decided to share his videos to pursue his passion. But later on, he got the opportunity to built his career with a professional company.

According to Kilmartin and Smiler’s textbook The Masculine Self, “Masculinity is characterized by a willingness to take (physical) risks and become violent if necessary.” Shawn Mendes is a good counter example because he is friendly and passionate. He is a singer that pursue his passion based on his own interest. Additionally, he will consider his fans perspectives because they are the ones that supported him from the beginning of his career. In an interview, he mentioned that “My goal isn’t to become an artist, but it is to become what my fans want me to become”. Apart from that, his music genres and styles are leaning towards “soothing love songs”. He expresses his feelings through the lyrics and through his voice. He is the opposite of what Kilmartin and Smiler’s definition of masculinity.

Relating to both the documentary and the textbook, on 2018, Shawn Mendes was criticized by his feminine behaviour:

“Mendes denied gay rumours, but they kept coming. Now he’s discussed the impact they had on him; in a Rolling Stone profile he said speculation made him obsessively police his own behaviour (“maybe I am a little more feminine – but that’s the way it is”), and it exacerbated his own internalised homophobia. “In my heart I know that [being gay is] not a bad thing,” he says.”

This is an interesting insight because in contrary with the documentary, even though he was being criticized by the society, he didn’t let it ruin him. He accepted himself and he didn’t let the rumours affect himself. On the other hand, he is a perfect counter example because he is the opposite of what the textbook defined as masculinity. He doesn’t show any signs of aggressiveness or violence.

In conclusion, I don’t think that there are specific qualities to define or characterize what’s a man. Everyone is different and unique in their own way. Therefore, I think that society should let go of this social norms and expectations on men.

Reference:

Hall, Jake. “Shawn Mendes Has a Point – We Need to Stop Policing Male Femininity.” I, 28 Nov. 2018, i-d.vice.com/en_uk/article/gy7j5m/shawn-mendes-male-femininity-sexuality.

O’Flynn, Brian. “Claiming Shawn Mendes Is Queer Is an Own Goal for Gay Men | Brian O’Flynn.” The Guardian, Guardian News and Media, 28 Nov. 2018, http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2018/nov/28/shawn-mendes-gay-queer-feminine-sexuality.

The documentary discussed about some interesting insights such as relatable examples, events and statistics about how men are supposed to behave. There are two mains elements discussed in the documentary that really jumped out to me. One of them is that “boys from the age of 20 to 24 are 7 times more likely to commit suicide compare to women”. I think this statistic caught my attention because 7 times is fairly high rate. Even though I knew beforehand that boys are more reserved in expressing their feelings, I didn’t realize that the suicidal rate would be that high. Additionally, knowing that the age of 20 to 24 is where young adults are actually beginning their life in which they start graduating, building their own career, relationship, etc… But, these young boys still decided to take off their life because of different reasons such as traumas, sexual abuse, bullying, etc… To put it in another way, this statistic reached me with an emotional appeal. I don’t think that anyone of them wanted to actually take off their life. It must be because they couldn’t hold it anymore or that it’s too much for them to handle by their own. Therefore, this statistic really appealed to me and made me realized that I should pay more attention to my surrounding no matter if I personally know them or not.

Apart from the statistic that I mentioned above, another insight that really caught my eyes is that many “boys believe that it is not normal to cry after 10.” This sentence really jumped out to me because I consistently hear this sentence over and over again between my friends, brother, cousin, etc… It is a common phrase that I can’t understand. To put it in another way, we’re all humans which means we all go through some ups and downs in our life. Why do we need to restrict people from expressing their emotional feelings because of “social expectations”? Why can’t boys be weak and cry when they can’t hold it in anymore? On top of that, this documentary has been released in 2015 and I’m sure that there are many movies and documentary out there that discuss on this topic. However, our society knowing that “restricting” boys from expressing their feelings increase suicidal and depression rate on an annually basis. Why people don’t change their attitudes and expectations towards boys? Why marketers still use female for emotional appeal in the ads and they use boys only for “thoughest”?

 “I wish I could speak to that six-year-old version of myself with my beautifully painted nails […] I’m tired of not being able to show affection to my brothers and friends. I’m tired of feeling self-conscious when I kiss or hug my father” (p.82)

I chose this section of Carlos Andres Gomez book because the documentary portrays it really well. In other words, the documentary and the book both has a similar structure. They both starts by explaining the critics and events that they went through as young boys. It’s only at the end of the story and of the documentary that they finally accept who they are and found happiness again. In the quote, Carlos mentioned that he wished that he could went back in time and tell his younger self that he was beautiful, that he wished that he could show affection to his friends and brothers, etc… It means that it’s by going through all these experiences that he realized that he should behave based on himself not by following the society. Similarly, in the “Mask You Live In”, it started with the experiences that the different victims have lived through. For example, we learned that Ian kept pushing himself to fit the manly figure that the others wanted him to be. So, he dated the head cheerleaders, he played sports and he distanced himself from his friends that were more feminine, etc… At the end, he mentioned that he regretted, and he wished that he didn’t distance himself from his old friends. Therefore, this documentary really shows how “social pressure and expectation” could ruin a person, especially young boys who are constantly under pressures and influences.

Everyone has someone who inspired them the most. Some might be a celebrity and others might be a teacher or a friend.  In my case, my role model is my brother. His name is Michael Wu and he is 21 years old. Many people perceive my brother as a normal university student who has nothing in particular. However, for me, they are wrong.  My brother might look reserved and calm. But, when you actually get to know him, he is exceptional. His mindset, thoughts and qualities differentiate himself from others young adults of his age. He inspires me because he is optimistic no matter what kind of scenarios he is facing. As an example, at the age of 12, when the registration period for the high schools came, he missed the opportunities to apply because he was abroad for some family issues. Therefore, it only let him one chance which is to apply to an IB high school. However, the entrance exam for an IB school is harder than a normal public school. At that time, not only he was facing some family pressures. But, he also needed to overcome his personal pressure because it was the only opportunity left. Even though, he was facing a crucial challenge. He told me that everything would be fine and that there’s always a solution to everything. Additionally, he reminds me that even if he failed the test, he would learn from his failure and do better in the future. Without a doubt, by keeping that mindset and beliefs for all those years, he overcomed many challenges. Now, he works for a successful company as a back-in programmer. On top of that, not only has he reached his goals, but he also inspired me a lot with his speech.

In my perspective, I considered someone as inspirational when they are perseverant, honest and ethical. For me, perseverance is important. In life, you’ll go through many challenges. If you give up whenever you encounter a small obstacle, you won’t go far in life. Apart from that, honesty and ethic are essential because they are the basic characteristics that you need to build trust with others. Human are constantly in interactions with others, if you’re not honest or ethical, you might be rejected or create harms to others. To finish, I think that in order to be considered inspirational, you need to learn from your mistakes. If you want to be successful or happy in life, learning from your mistakes is the first step. It’s by learning from your past mistakes that you could improve yourself and become a better person in the future. Therefore, it is through my brother that I fully understand the following quote: “Never regret a day in your life. Good days give you happiness and bad days give you experience.” – Rocky Balboa