Many people can easily remember the good memories from high school, but for every good memory there are 5 bad ones. Many of these bad memories are cases of bullying. A lot of my friends have had at least one case of being harassed or bullied by another classmate. My girl friends have all been sexually harassed and my guy friends have been harassed violently. Although many schools have taken measures to ensure bullying is being stopped, it is still a very pressing matter in today’s society. The reasons why violence in schools is still very prominent is because many of these cases are not being reported, young boys are taught to fit certain stereotypes of what a man should be and how girls show dress and act, and lastly, school boards aren’t giving children the support they need to help stop this bullying. The biggest aspect to violence in schools is because society teaches young boys to be heroes and fight their own battles.

Bullying is still a very present matter because many of these cases are not being reported. According to the documentary “The Mask You Live In” one out of four boys have encountered harassment or violence, but only 30 percent report their incidents. This reason is because boys are scared that they will be considered “wusses” or “babies” for tattling on their peers. They have been taught by society to man up and deal with bullying with violence. This aggression stems from the fact that boys and young men are holding in all their emotions because society and their peers say that they can not show emotion.

Boys and men can not show their emotions because ever since human beings distinguished between male and female, there have been differences for each gender and what they are expected to do in their day-to-day lives. Women are stereotyped to be housewives and men are supposed to be the money makers. This is why violence is such a big part of a young man’s life. It has been drilled into their brains ever since birth to be violent and to not let other men step on you. It is also drilled into men’s brains from society that sexual harassment in any shape or form is okay. Rape culture is a very real concept that women must face at least once in their lifetimes.

Lastly, school boards do not do their best to help these situations. This is more of a biased opinion because there are no statistical facts to prove this, however many people, including myself, can agree to this statement. A friend of mine was sexually assaulted at my school. Usually the principal would do something more than just suspending the perpetrator. and the school board did the bare minimum to help her. They suspended the boy and that’s all. They could have done more to reprimand this boy, but they did not. These issues have not only been presented in my high school but other of my friends’ high schools. At my neighboring high school there was an incident where a boy beat up another boy and the principal did nothing other than send the boy to detention. These situations are very common in high schools but there is a mix of students not reporting and the school not doing many things to help the victims of these terrible situations.

In conclusion, the things that we need to do is to stop making violence our social norm and making the school boards stricter on these violent acts. There are some possibilities that these boys are suffering, and they release their tension an anger by violence. It is not okay for these people to do this but if they were helped, they would not do these terrible acts. If it were a social norm for boys and men to be emotional then our lives would be so much more different than how it is right now.

For this blog post I decided to interview one of my good friends Seb. I’ve known Seb for a number of years. And he is such a sweet and open person. I asked him the questions from the instructions along with a couple of other questions.

I first asked him who his best friend is, his best friend is Nate. Him and Nate have known each other for a very long time now. He mentioned that he is so close to his best friend because they can talk about anything without judging each other. They are on the same page when it comes to almost everything. They are able to talk about their emotions and what they feel when they feel it, not after they feel it like other men I know. Nate can tell when Seb is feeling down and vise versa. This is why they are so close.

I then asked Seb what they do when they spend time with each other. He told me that they like to watch TV or play video games but sometimes they like to just sit together and talk. Or sometimes they like to smoke weed and just chill out together. When they do do this they like to sit on the couch and just talk about whatever their minds come to. Seb also told me that they will sometimes just sit in silence and just be in each other’s company. Kind of like what an old married couple would do, or so from what I’ve heard. My grandparents aren’t the best example of an old married couple.

The next question I asked Seb was if he ever told his best friend how much he means to him. Seb’s immediate answer was a simple “yes”. Without skipping a heartbeat he answered this question with ease. I believe that sometimes a bond between two friends can be so strong that you do not even need to tell them that you love them. And I think that Seb and Nate’s bond is so strong that all they need to do to show their appreciation is a simple smile or hug. After this question I asked Seb what Nate’s answer to this statement was. Seb told me that Nate just gave him a genuine smile, got up from his seated position and gave Seb a big bear hug and reciprocated his affection to his best friend.

The last and final question I asked Seb was if he ever had a really good friend that he never had the chance to tell how much he meant to him. Seb was quiet for a moment and then responded with a yes. I asked him why he never told him how much this friend meant to him and he said that he was not the person who he is today. And he told me that he has matured and is comfortable in his own skin to proudly say how much his friends mean to him.

There are many institutions that support gender difference. However, there are institutions that promote gender order such as hospitals and schools. In hospitals the men are supposed to be the doctors with PhDs and the women are supposed to be the nurses, the caregivers, not the healers. Institutions are implementing characteristics and expectations towards men and women. In the workplace, gender difference has always been present. There are plenty of women who have the same jobs as men but are underpaid. In “Man Enough” they understood this very present issue and spoke about it to understand it to its core. These men spoke about gender inequality to make others understand it better and to, hopefully, make it stop.

In his conclusion, Kimmel used the term “masculinities” instead of the singular term “masculinity”. He used this term implying that there not a specific definition that qualifies a man. Gender is not what you are but what you do and say. Kimmel used this term to broaden the idea of a man and to help see stoicism as a simple trait, rather than a must-have. In the fourth episode of “Man Enough”, this quote summarizes the hope that the men at the table shared when their talk was coming to an end. Such a simple talk between friends that led to a deep mutual understanding of this issue is truly amazing and can only bring all good men around the world hope.

Although men around the world get a bad reputation, they have been repressed as well. Especially men of colour. There were a couple of things that really surprised me from the documentary, however the main surprising aspect was the statistics shown. I pride myself on being very knowledgeable of discrimination, whether that be racial, gender, religion, or disability discrimination. The third lead cause of death in men is suicide. This statistic made me very upset, society does not allow men to be vulnerable with other people. Thus, if a person is not allowed to be vulnerable with anybody other than themselves, their mental health could be severely impacted. Mental health is not longer a taboo topic, yet it is when a man is involved.

Another thing that surprised me was that not many people in the documentary knew the difference between sex and gender. Sex is what biological genitalia you have and gender is what you feel inside. If you feel like your gender is male then you are male and that is the end of if. Not many people really can understand this. Even to this day not many people grasp the concept of gender.

One thing from Carlos Andres Gomez’s story that really caught my attention was the different type of culture north america has compared to Zambia. In Zambia friends (no matter what gender) could walk around holding hands or with their pinkies intertwined. I think this is very sweet and wholesome. But here in america, especially in the late 1980’s, this would be very taboo. People would not hold hands if they were the same gender, and if they did people would stare and judge. The documentary made me understand why Carlos felt a little uncomfortable at the start. Our society also makes men afraid to show affection because men are supposed to be “strong and stoic”, but in Zambia’s society friendship is cherished. And I think that is beautiful and this is why Andreas was so comfortable while Carlos was a little weary.

There are many famous men who have been inspirational in the world, all around the world. However, the one man in my life who has directly inspired me is my dad. My dad, Joe, was born in 1968 on October 17^th in the Royal Victoria hospital. He was raised in Italy up until the age of 5, to come back to Montreal for education. Ever since my dad could remember his life was always hard. He lived in an abusive household with his mother and his father. My grandfather was an alcoholic and an abusive father and husband. Just at the age of 11 my dad found his mother trying to take her own life. She survived but was never the same. His mother moved out when my dad was only 17 and shortly after he followed to live with her. My dad is inspirational to me because even after all his hardships he never turned out to be like his father. He is such a sweet and gentle man. My dad inspires me because he is such a good father despite what has happened to him. He dedicated his life to help others. He is truly selfish and full of love and this is why he inspires me.

pasta