There is an institutionalized violence between men that is unregulated and under reported. These incidents are usually brushed under the rug and not taken seriously because of the institution’s opinion of how these men should show their masculinity. Usually, the motto of ‘boys will be boys’ is a means of excusing violence, saying fighting is a natural part of boys being brought up. This theme exists in schools, teaching young impressionable boys a toxic view on masculinity.
In schools, children are exposed to violence at a very early age, and the lack of a proper response normalizes this behavior, therefore reinforcing the gender stereotype of male aggressiveness. Although both girls and boys are affected by bullying, they are generally subjected to different types; boys are most likely to face fighting, and while girls can also be victims of this, there is a clear division of violence showing that the majority of victims are men.
Since very young, children are bombarded with cultural notions of how to act in line with their gender, masculinity and femininity. There are harsh guidelines set in place to follow these gender norms, and taunts towards children for not following them is not only accepted, but encouraged: “[M]asculinity must be policed, defined as the use of insults and slurs to “encourage” boys and men to behave in ways that are more consistent with the cultural definition of masculinity”(Kilmartin, Christopher, and Andrew P. Smiler 6). Institutions like schools police boys into thinking violence is okay by using the phrase ‘boys will be boys’.
Deborah David and Robert Brannon postulated that there are four primary characteristics to American masculinity. Among them, one is called Adventurousness and Aggressiveness (Kilmartin, Christopher, and Andrew P. Smiler 6). This characteristic talks about the physical risks a man takes and how he can become violent if necessary. In extreme cases, this characteristic can condone men’s violence. Since the heart of masculinity is antifeminity, it rejects emotions other than lust and anger. Because of this, boys grow up with an unhealthy way to express their emotions, which can bring about violence. When brought up in a way that promotes violence among boys, it is easy for society to brush off the issues of violence in schools that are brought up as boys simply being boys, which completely disregards the problem at hand. This can leave the victims of violence without help, and in extreme cases, the circumstances lead them to be unable to live their life as they did previously or continue their education.
Schools do not report these incidents of violence, which leads to the possibility for victims to be denied their right to education. In the CBC documentary “Violence in Schools”, schools are keeping secrets from staff, students and parents by hiding their number of cases of violence. Teachers and parents are asked about how many cases of violence they know their school had, and they had not heard of a single one, when in fact there were many cases.
When CBC asks school boards to access their data, they are met with requests for money or refusals, justifying it through privacy (though CBC was not asking for names) or reputational risks. Schools are not doing enough to protect their children; they just want to protect themselves and their reputation.
Teachers have a special power to be able to influence and mold children as they are people children spend most of their day with, a person of authority, as well as a role model. If a teacher has a certain mindset, it can easily be communicated to children. When the school does not take action to report violent behaviors, it is an indication that they are allowing problematic, violent behaviors to pass without consequence. By saying ‘boys will be boys’, they are normalizing this violence in boys, which is harmful not only to the victim of the violence, but also to the offender. The offender is taught that his actions are okay, and that he is acting like a man should.
The statement also downplays the consequences the victim faces. In the documentary, a boy was punched and slammed into the ground, resulting in many injuries that affected his brain and hearing. These injuries hinder his ability to go through life as he once did and affect his education. The outcome of violent situations is many times very damaging, and excusing the offender’s behavior with a statement like ‘boys will be boys’ does nothing to help the victim. What people need is schools to acknowledge cases of violence to be able to prevent them in the future. All schools deal with violence, and if the schools accept that then there is no need for them to hide numbers. They can start creating an atmosphere for students that does not promote such a toxic view of masculinity as well as keep their students safe.
In conclusion, excusing violent behavior, like using the phrase ‘boys will be boys’, is a bad way to deal with violence. It focuses on the idea that men are violent by nature and there is nothing that can be done to teach them otherwise. However, this mindset only reinforces the negative stereotype of men, which keeps them locked in the man box, and does not offer an opportunity for reflection or growth. What can schools do to actively help boys who are affected by violence?
Works Cited
“4k, A Concerned Teacher Talking to a Young Boy Teased at School. Slow Motion.” Shutterstock, http://www.shutterstock.com/video/clip-29205262-4k-concerned-teacher-talking-young-boy-teased.
“Dr. Janet Sasson Edgette.” Dr. Janet Sasson Edgette, janetedgette.com/2019/01/boys-will-be-boys-just-a-lousy-excuse-for-bad-behavior/.
Kilmartin, Christopher, and Andrew P. Smiler. “Defining Men’s Studies.” The Masculine Self, Cornwall On Hudson, NY, Sloan Publishing, 2019, pp. 1–7.
“Martech Today.” Martech Today, martechtoday.com/data-privacy-picking-lock-pandoras-box-193971.
“University of Minnesota Extension.” University of Minnesota Extension, extension.umn.edu/bullying-and-violence/bullying-big-problem-big-consequences.
“When Bullying Turns to Violence: Do Schools Know What’s Really Going on? (Marketplace).” When Bullying Turns to Violence: Do Schools Know What’s Really Going on? (Marketplace), CBC, 5 Oct. 2019, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N9p-DAJZumg.
Lovers and Fighters | Section 22 