For this blog, I interviewed my friend Mehdi: A 18 years old man.

1: How did you met your bestfriend ?

I met him because we have a common friend and he presented us. Since the first days, we got along and we started chilling together.

2: Why are you close to your friends ?

When we first met, we directly got along and since we are from the same country, we have a lot of cultural references in common. During the first months, we were good friends but not enough to consider ourselves best friends. But when I broke my ankle, he was the one of the only one that came to see me. Since then, I realized that he was a true friend and it has been now 6 years that we are best friends.

3:What kinds of things do you like to do together?

We are both sedentary people so we don’t go out so much. We would rather go to each other’s house and stay there and discuss, play video-games, or watch movies. We stay in my basement and discuss all day about everything while eating and it is like this all day, every day during all the summer.

4: Have you ever told your friend how much he means to you? If so, what did you say and how did he react? If you have never told him how much he means to you, why not?

No. We both come from an african country and disscussing of our emotions between men is not something that we do and it is seen as a weak thing to do. Even if we have never expressed our feelings, we both know really well that we mean a lot to each other and we both value a lot our relationship.

The relationship between Mehdi and his bestfriend has many of the characteristics described in the Kimmel’s writting. They both don’t express their feelings but still feel close to one another. Also and what struck me during the interview is how he really start considering him as his best friend after he came to see him when he broke his ankle. He really like the action and it changed their relation completely. It is written in Kimmel’s writting that ” the most important attributes of a close or best friend was knowing that he would be there for you…”. And for Mehdi, It was a really important thing and it created a true friendship between him and his best friend.

I interviewed my Friend about his best friend, They have been Friends since High School. They have been best friends for almost 6 years.

(Questions I asked)

• Why are you close to your Friend?

-I’ve been closed to my friend because he is the only one who understand my personality and he is more likely to make me be better personally and spiritually. My friend is a Christian, He always enlighten me with god words and makes me feel whole specially in my saddest moments, and he is always listening to me if ever I give him advice. He understand also and he always motivate me If I ever lose confidence to face a challenge.

• What kinds of things do you like to do together?

-The things we like together are share personal stories,basketball and bible studies. We like to share personal stories because we learn to understand each other and we have the chance to correct each others mistakes and make it better outcome. We play basketball because that’s how we build our chemistry and use it as a way to improve our friendship. We do bible study because we are christian and as a children of God we make sure we obey God and preciously embrace God commandments and share God’s message to his people.

• Have you ever told your friend how much he means to you? If so, what did you say and how did he react? If you have never told him how much he means to you, why not?

-No, I haven’t. why? because I don’t have to because we really know that we are really true and we are really meant to be friends because of the way we show love and understand and also hospitality to each other and to others too.

1. Why are you close to your friend? Be specific.

“I’m close to him because I don’t really like a lot of people my age because they are really immature, but he’s not so it’s nice to be around him. We’re childhood friends so I’ve known him for a long time, around 7 years; he has a good personality and we have a good time together.”

2. What kinds of things do you like to do together?

“We don’t have to do anything big when we get together, like go to dinners or the amusement park every weekend. We can just chill at home and talk.”

3. Have you ever told your friend how much he means to you? If so, what did you say and how did he react? If you have never told him how much he means to you, why not?

“I haven’t, only because he already knows that I care about him and I don’t need to say it into words. If he didn’t know and he seemed like he needed to hear it, I would for sure tell him. I just haven’t because he already knows how I feel about him.”

In reference to the theories and ideas presented in “No Man Is an Island: Men in Relationships” by Christopher Kilmartin and Andrew P. Smiler, I can see that my friend has broken free of some of the stereotypical ways to behave around his friend. He does not abstain from speaking about his feelings about his friend, and would be ready to be vulnerable in a way of opening up and sharing feelings if his friend simply did not know, or seemed to need the reassurance that he had a friend who loved and cared about him very much.

For blog-post 5 , I decided to interview and ask my father about his relationship with his best friend. He told me that his best friend is called Abed and they have met each other at school and have known each other since they were grade 5 so for more than 40 years and till now they still best friends and their friendship turned to be a close relationship between their families ( wives and children) .

1. Why are you close to your friend? Be specific.

My father said that he is very close to his friend because he has been knowing him for 40 years and still having the same relationship as they were when they have met at school at the age of 11 , they share the same interests as watching television and especially football games, and films , they are both fans of the same football teams ( Barcelona and Brazil) . My father and his best friend were sitting in the same desk at school and they share the same emotional characteristics of being caring , supportive and secrets houses of each other. And this proves the results of the researches in the article No man is an island that friends have things in common and this what make their friendship stronger and longer.

2. What kinds of things do you like to do together?

My father’ answer was: I like spending hours with him , when i was young we used to do a sleepover nights in each others houses . we do lots of things together , we hang out eating together , watch football matches , family visits , helping each other in doing homework , doing volunteer work in the same place , sharing secrets , constructing promises that we will be friends for ever and this turned to reality , even if each one of use married and have children we still hang out in families and also even each one of us is in a country we still have the same relationship and we still communicating on a daily basis. And this illustrates that true friendship is not just about sharing things in common , friendship continuity is based on being supportive to each other remaining the same quality of relation with time.

3. Have you ever told your friend how much he means to you? If so, what did you say and how did he react? If you have never told him how much he means to you, why not?

My father ‘ answer shocked me , he told me that he always tell his friend how much he means to him and that his friend’s reaction is always the same , his friend also keep telling him how much he means to him . I asked my father why do you tell your friend about his meaning to you ? he told me that as men they are supposed to be with no emotions as society imposes them to be but in relationships and especially male friendship,telling your friend how much he is important for you means that you support him to know that his presence is important for you and for men talking about emotions is what they miss so telling your friend how much you love him makes him feel his importance and thus you become a social and emotional support for him because sometimes friends can be your family and this what make friendship lasts longer and remain stronger because friends are not just for the happy days they are also for sad days , you really need them .

” A friend in need is a friend indeed”

1. Why are you close to your friend? Be specific.

“Because he is realky funny and he is one of the few I can trust.”

2. What kinds of things do you like to do together?

“We play video games and soccer and talk about women.”

3. Have you ever told your friend how much he means to you? If so, what did you say and how did he react? If you have never told him how much he means to you, why not?

“No, he already knows it by my actions I don’t need to say it and and also never told him because it’s gay.”

Honestly, I was very surprised and shook when I asked those questions to my brother. I never thought that he would fit in the category of “typical men”. The text No man is an island : Men in relationships really confirms everything my brother said. I think it’s very sad that guys can’t express themselves towards other guys about their feelings, because at the end of the day we are all humans and we all need a certain level of affection. I know guys who tell their friends how much they mean to them and they are insulted, and they even lose their friends sometimes because they are seen as gay. It shouldn’t be like this in 2020. Guys should be able to express themselves just as much as girls. In addition, not telling others how you feel because you’ll be ridiculised adds tabous to our society, and it’s the worst thing.

For this interview, I decided to ask my brother, Theo, the questions about his best friend. They’ve known each other since secondary 1. It’s been a little over 5 years of friendship for them and they’re both 17.

1. Why are you close to your friend?

My friend and I have been very close friends for over five whole years at this point and we both grew up together. We’re still friends because we have good chemistry and are always willing to help out and support one another, leading to a healthy friendship.

2. What kinds of things do you like to do together?

You’ll probably find us playing a video game together. It’s usually a single player game and we just take turns because that’s always more fun. Aside from that, we walk a lot and just talk about anything that comes to mind while outside. If not the latter then we will occasionally bike together or go do some activity like watch a movie or browse a store.

3. Have you ever told your friend how much he means to you? If so, what did you say and how did he react? If you have never told him how much he means to you, why not?

I have told my friend how much he means to me. In my life, I’ve come by very few people who just “get me”. If you’re lucky enough, you’ll find an entire group of friends like that where everyone is in-sync. If you spend enough years with a friend you both eventually become comfortable enough to show some “brotherly love” and that’s exactly what we do. It’s usually a simple “I wanted to remind you that you’re one of my closest friends and I really appreciate our bond”. Or even an “I love you, you’re the best.” on the rarer occasion. I cannot remember how either one of us would’ve reacted upon hearing that for the first time but nowadays it’s mutual and we’re always reciprocating.

The person I interviewed is Michael Cachiotti. His best friend is Julian Pelligrino. He’s been friends with him since secondary 1. They are both 17

1)Why are you close to your friend? Be specific.

Michael is very close to his best friend because Julian is someone he trusts a lot. No matter what the situation is, Julian is always there for him. They don’t go to the same school but everytime they see each other, it’s like they’ve seen each other for a long time. Julian always makes Michael laugh which is why their bond is good. When Michaels uncle passed away, it was very hard for him because he was very close to him. Julian was the first person that Michael turned too.

2)What kind of things do you like to do together?

Michael and Julian spend a lot of time together. They like going to Mcdonalds to hangout, they play hockey together and they are in the same soccer team. In the summer, they play soccer together and after they go eat an ice cream. They spend a lot of time together just doing anything.

3)Have you ever told your friend how much he means to you? If so, what did you say and how did he react? If you have never told him how much he means to you, why not?

He’s never told Julian why he means so much to him because he has never thought of it. He told me that men don’t really talk about that stuff. Men keep their emotions to themselves. He also told me he doesn’t feel the need to tell him “Why he means so much to him”.

1. Do you show affection to your best friend in public? If yes, how?

“I do, yes. But with a handshake. Because it is something that no one else but us can do.” (Marc)

2. Why is Keven your best friend?

“I guess he is the most convenient person and also my cousin which strengthens our relationship.”

3. What do you like about Keven?

“His sense of humor, and the way he’s able to have logical thinking when it comes to making decisions.” 

4. Can you rely on him for emotional support? Can you show your emotions in front of him? 

“He’s not really good at comforting people so there no point of being sad in front of him, maybe not every kind of emotion. He’s not emotional or capable of comprehending other people’s emotions.”

5. Do you ever feel any competition between you both?

“I wouldn’t say there’s a competition but a desire to always be on the same level. I would say we’re out of sync.”

6. Do you love your best friend? Why? 

“Yeah, I love him. I guess we have so many memories together, and so many possibilities together that he means a lot to me.” 

7. Are you ever afraid that other men would consider you and your best friend’s relationship as “gay”?

“Yeah. I’m attracted to girls, in the past I’ve had comments like that, and it makes me 

question my identity.”

8. Do you ever hug your best friend? In public?

“Rarely. Because we are not touchy people. I prefer hugging the opposite sex unless I’m really emotional or optimistic, like happy, I wouldn’t hug any guy.” 

9. What kinds of things do you like to do together?

“Try new foods, try new restaurants together, we like first experiences together. Most of the time when going to an event, we like to go together to have each other’s back. We also are interested in clothing and like the same base of style and brands, we talk about materialistic things that interest us.”

10.  Have you ever told your friend how much he means to you? If so, what did you say and how did he react? If you have never told him how much he means to you, why not?

“Yeah, I told him a couple of times when I was super intoxicated. And he says it back too. He likes to reciprocate the love shown to him.”

11. Would you change anything about your relationship? 

“I wouldn’t change anything. It doesn’t matter the relationship I have with the person, I have my own method of being comfortable with people.”

(Marc and Keven)

For this interview I chose my best male friend who I have known for about 10 years. We are very close and I know he is able to be open with me but I wanted to ask him questions about his best male friend to compare.

Why are you close to you friend?

We’ve known each other a long time, he’s the friend I’ve had for the longest.

What kinds of things do you like to do together?

We play video games, hang out, build legos, go on drives and talk about cars.

Have you ever told your friend how much he means to you?

Yeah, the last message I sent him was telling him that I miss him. When I tell him how much he means to me he usually tells me he loves me back.

Are you able to be more vulnerable with your male or female friends? Why?

Female, my male friends have toxic masculinity and it makes it harder for me to be open with them.

The answers he has given me for the activities they do together relate to Kilmartins article in that they are what he described as “stereotypically masculine activities such as talking about sports, playing video games and “bar games”. Him and his friend talk about cars (racing and the sport of it) as well as play video games.

Another thing that relates to the article is that my friend stated that he is more vulnerable with his female friends than his male friends. Kilmartin said “both men and women tend to trust women more than men.” My friend demonstrates that this is true.

One thing that did not relate to the article is that him and his friend are able to tell each other that they love each other which is not frequent in men unless they are drunk.

For this blog post, I decided to interview my best friend and twin brother Ryan about our relationship as best friends. Here’s how it went.

1.  Why are you close to your friend? Be specific.

Going into this question I already knew what to expect as the answer because its quite obvious but he responded with something along the lines of “you’re my twin I have no choice but to be close with you” which makes sense however when I asked him to go into more details it was hard for him. I tried to ask him some follow-ups such as “If we weren’t brothers would we still be friends” and more questions like that however he didn’t seem comfortable answering anything and when he did he would just joke around responding with answers such as “you’ll never know I guess” etc…

2. What kinds of things do you like to do together?

In my opinion, this question went best because we do almost everything together. He responded exactly how I would have to say things such as “we play video games together, we play sports together, we laugh together” etc… However, one answer that caught my attention was “We fight together” which is true. When I asked him to go further into detail he said ” There is no one in this world that can piss me off more then you do” and as mean as it sounds to say but I understood exactly where he was coming from. Ryan and I spend so much time together we can annoy the hell out of each other but we always get past it rather quickly. I knew deep down there was also no one that made him laugh as much as I did but no way he was saying that out loud.

3. Have you ever told your friend how much he means to you? If so, what did you say and how did he react? If you have never told him how much he means to you, why not?

His response was “I never tell you because it’s self-explanatory” which I think I agree with. Ryan and I just have an unspeakable bond that’s greater than just being twin brothers. Were best friends and we kinda just know that no matter what we come first in each other’s lives. There’s no need to say it out loud.