For my interview I decided to interview my brother Kane. Along with the suggested questions I asked a few of my own in an attempt to find where our behaviours concerning showing affection in platonic friendships come from. I sat my brother down in our backyard and asked him to share a few words concerning his best friend.
“The hardest part about this is choosing one person to talk about,” he paused to light his cigarette, “but I’d have to say my boy Chris, I love that guy.”
Kane is my older brother, born and raised in the same household as me; I wasn’t surprised when he continued to answer my questions before I could even ask them. Their friendship revolves around the struggle of young adults in their early twenties trying to commit to something they aren’t sure will work out, and therefore they are very in touch with their emotions and are open to talk about it to each other. It is for this same reason that they get along so well. Chris and Kane seem to be inseparable, they went to school together and when I asked what they tend to do together he laughed and said they “forget shit” together. Expanding on that thought he explained how whenever they need to de-stress or get their minds off of something they’ll reach out to each other, usually ending in them playing sports or video games, going to parties or smoking weed. However he made a special effort to mention that they don’t need to be doing anything to enjoy their time together, a seemingly reoccurring factor that shows itself in most if not all “best friendships”. Kane and Chris are vocal about their “bromance” and appreciation for each other, and it’s normal for them to say that they love each other. In other words Kane explained that they both know how much they mean to each other even when they don’t say it, but they make an effort to say it to “remind each other that they can’t get rid of each other”.
Going a bit off script I asked why Kane is so comfortable with showing affection in same sex friendships. To which he responded “What’s there to be scared of?” He explained that we [my and my brothers] were raised to be compassionate especially to our friends, and that there are no reason other than personal insecurities to indulge in that. Everyone likes to be appreciated and there’s no reason friends should feel obligated to hold those feelings from someone who probably feels the same way. The idea that that level of affection is seen as “gay” or “weak” is obscene and completely goes against our nature as social beings. This also goes to show that how we are brought up and the environment we surround ourselves with molds us into the people we are now.
Lovers and Fighters | Section 22 