I found that the way men want to be open about their feelings to their friends, but they are afraid of being judged. But the fact that almost every single guy is thinking this, their attitude towards sharing their feelings is what is stopping them from getting what they want. This is especially so because they always add “no homo” when they do something that expresses their emotions (that aren’t anger or rudeness). Another point I found interesting in the documentary was how they relate all this avoidance to their misogyny and homophobia. Since women and homosexuals are people who express their feelings a lot more than men, men are in fact denouncing these people in their avoidance of expressing sentiment. I think these points caught my attention because I had never thought that men would actually want to express emotion since I thought, if they wanted to, they would. However, now I know that it is a social stigma if they do, and that’s why they don’t, even if they want to. I also did not relate this fact to the looking down on women and homosexual people, which I now find very understandable.
A part of the book that caught my attention was when Carlos found himself kissing his friend in his sleep as he was dreaming of his ex girlfriend. This documentary helps me better understand his experience since the documentary showed me that even saying kind words to your friend could be seen as gay, let alone any type of physical contact. This shows that Carlos’ friend, as described in the book, was a really great person and a great man who broke free of these norms. Carlos’ friend asked him after the fact if he wanted to talk about anything, saying he was open to whatever Carlos’ sexuality was, instead of immediately getting away from him.
Lovers and Fighters | Section 22 