While watching this documentary, a couple of things stood out. The first was how young boys are when bullying could start. The boy Ronan in particular had his bullying start at age 6. If you’re being harassed from such a young age about how you’re too “weak” or a “sissy” of course you’ll want to change and shut every emotion down. Using verbal or physical abuse is enough for someone to submit to the stereotype in order to no longer be harassed. A second thing was that any sign of male intimacy, even friendship, would be perceived as gay. This leads to a negative association of the word gay and the actions that boys and men will make. As a girl I hug my friends all the time and have no issues with it. Human beings crave that kind of feeling even if it’s in a total platonic way. It’s strange to think that boys are “not allowed” to hold their friend’s hand or hug them without feeling some kind of weakness or have them feel threatened.
This better helped me understand the part of Carlos Gomez’s book where he visited Zambia. While he was there, he saw men showing signs of physical platonic intimacy and no one had anything negative to say. This shows that America’s view on male “weakness” is very different from other countries’. This must have been a turning point in the man’s life as well cause he saw this behaviour in a nice way versus the negative way he had previously seen it in. Supporting your friends and letting them see your emotions is never a weak or negative thing. Being vulnerable and intimate is actually one of the braver things we as human beings can do!
Lovers and Fighters | Section 22 