The documentary discussed about some interesting insights such as relatable examples, events and statistics about how men are supposed to behave. There are two mains elements discussed in the documentary that really jumped out to me. One of them is that “boys from the age of 20 to 24 are 7 times more likely to commit suicide compare to women”. I think this statistic caught my attention because 7 times is fairly high rate. Even though I knew beforehand that boys are more reserved in expressing their feelings, I didn’t realize that the suicidal rate would be that high. Additionally, knowing that the age of 20 to 24 is where young adults are actually beginning their life in which they start graduating, building their own career, relationship, etc… But, these young boys still decided to take off their life because of different reasons such as traumas, sexual abuse, bullying, etc… To put it in another way, this statistic reached me with an emotional appeal. I don’t think that anyone of them wanted to actually take off their life. It must be because they couldn’t hold it anymore or that it’s too much for them to handle by their own. Therefore, this statistic really appealed to me and made me realized that I should pay more attention to my surrounding no matter if I personally know them or not.
Apart from the statistic that I mentioned above, another insight that really caught my eyes is that many “boys believe that it is not normal to cry after 10.” This sentence really jumped out to me because I consistently hear this sentence over and over again between my friends, brother, cousin, etc… It is a common phrase that I can’t understand. To put it in another way, we’re all humans which means we all go through some ups and downs in our life. Why do we need to restrict people from expressing their emotional feelings because of “social expectations”? Why can’t boys be weak and cry when they can’t hold it in anymore? On top of that, this documentary has been released in 2015 and I’m sure that there are many movies and documentary out there that discuss on this topic. However, our society knowing that “restricting” boys from expressing their feelings increase suicidal and depression rate on an annually basis. Why people don’t change their attitudes and expectations towards boys? Why marketers still use female for emotional appeal in the ads and they use boys only for “thoughest”?
“I wish I could speak to that six-year-old version of myself with my beautifully painted nails […] I’m tired of not being able to show affection to my brothers and friends. I’m tired of feeling self-conscious when I kiss or hug my father” (p.82)
I chose this section of Carlos Andres Gomez book because the documentary portrays it really well. In other words, the documentary and the book both has a similar structure. They both starts by explaining the critics and events that they went through as young boys. It’s only at the end of the story and of the documentary that they finally accept who they are and found happiness again. In the quote, Carlos mentioned that he wished that he could went back in time and tell his younger self that he was beautiful, that he wished that he could show affection to his friends and brothers, etc… It means that it’s by going through all these experiences that he realized that he should behave based on himself not by following the society. Similarly, in the “Mask You Live In”, it started with the experiences that the different victims have lived through. For example, we learned that Ian kept pushing himself to fit the manly figure that the others wanted him to be. So, he dated the head cheerleaders, he played sports and he distanced himself from his friends that were more feminine, etc… At the end, he mentioned that he regretted, and he wished that he didn’t distance himself from his old friends. Therefore, this documentary really shows how “social pressure and expectation” could ruin a person, especially young boys who are constantly under pressures and influences.
Lovers and Fighters | Section 22 