Jennifer Siebel Newsom’s “The Mask You Live In” contains several interesting aspects of research regarding men. One of them is the finding that boys in the U.S. are 30% more likely than girls to flunk or drop out of school. This surprised me, because I thought the percentage would be even higher! As a perfectionist, I always wanted to get the best grades at school, but I noticed that my friends weren’t often as eager as I was. Being “cool” was more important. I never used to tell my friends about my good grades, as I didn’t want to be seen as a “nerd”. I believe that this might be due to the fact that men often seek to demonstrate and improve their masculinity, even at the cost of their grades and success at school. One such example of the manifestation of masculinity is when partying and drinking. According to the documentary, men are much more likely to binge drink than women. This behavior can be a strong contributor to academic failure.
Another statistic that grabbed my attention was that 25% of boys reported having been a victim of bullying, but that only 30% of them sought help from an adult. I believe that this is due to a popular idea that men must dominate, which can cause them to bully others in order to assert their superiority. Additionally, I think that the reason why less than a third of boys look for support is because men are often taught to be mentally and emotionally strong and deal with problems by themselves. However, this statistic still surprised me, because most of my male friends seek support when they are bullied.
Man Up
A part of Carlos Andres Gomez’s book “Man Up” that stood out for me was when he mentioned, towards the end of Chapter 3, that he was tired of not being able to show affection to his brothers, friends and father, of feeling like he has to hide his emotions and being stigmatized for expressing himself.
“I’m tired of not being able to show affection to my brothers and friends. I’m tired of feeling self-conscious when I kiss or hug my father. I’m tired of feeling like I have to hide my emotion and my sensitivity. I’m tired of being stigmatized for wanting to communicate and express myself.”
Carlos Andres Gomez, Chapter 3 of “Man Up”
The documentary helped me better understand what Gomez meant about showing affection. It showed a man named Steven teaching his son that crying and showing emotion is okay. He tells him not to hide his emotions and that he can show affection for others. He did not have a father present in his life, so it was interesting to see that he believed that a son should be able to cry with his father and confide in him. I believe Steven is the father that Carlos Andres Gomez would have wanted his dad to be!
Lovers and Fighters | Section 22 