They say men must act tough through it all, but what really astonished me was the fact that they are constantly obligated to keep a poker face. Sorrow, anger, fear: these are all completely normal emotions every human is born with, man or not. Thus, being told to not show feelings eventually builds up inside of you until you can no longer take it anymore. This shook me because coming from a family of three woman, I’m not really aware of how men are treated since all my life, I was told it is harder to live life as a woman.

Another thing that jumped at me was “1 in 4 boys get bullied at school, and only 30% of those boys tell their parents”. This was shocking in particular because in movies such as Mean Girls and cyberbully, the females were often targeted. It caught my attention as I figured male, in particular gays are thrown under the bus for almost anything. In addition, the bullies often tend to pick on people because they are taught how to behave dominantly in which, bullies think they are.

As for the Carlos Andres Gomez book, the part that got to me was when after figuring out what a faggot meant, Carlos went on stating he has had “classmates and friends describe gay people as pedophiles and molesters”. Incidents such as so transformed Carlos into a homophobic person to the point he refused to attend a gay club. This intertwines with the documentary because gay people are considered weak and show sissyness in the eyes of society. According to the movie, “boys have a higher suicide rate than girls” and almost every male who shared their bullying incident in the movie thought of suicide at one point.

I found it very shocking that 1 in 4 young boys get bullied and only 30% of them notify adults. This data really spoke to me, in my opinion, these numbers are too high. The main reason that boys get bullied is for being feminine and lacking manly characteristics. The boys getting bullied cannot express themselves or confide in adults, making them feel lonely, depressed, and sometimes, suicidal. Boys can’t be sad without being considered a sissy or girly. Dr. Caroline Heldman explained how masculinity is reactive and that it is a rejection of femininity. Society has constructed being compared to a girl to be very offensive. It is acceptable for boys to be angry and mad because those are considered to be masculine qualities. A young boy has to be dominant, ready to fight, athletic, and emotionless. The research that a big percentage of boys are bullied and remain silent really concerns me. This caught my attention because personally, there has to be a change and these numbers need to decrease. My attention was also caught with what Dr. Heldman said about people not being born with masculinity, but it being a reactive way of coping with things. In order to truly insult a boy, he’s compared to being feminine, which indirectly dehumanizes girls and women. This, along with the bullying, has to discontinue.

My favourite experience of Carlos Andrés Goméz’s would be when he went to the Palladium on a Friday night (gay night). A drag queen was outside of the club deciding who could come into the function, that would have been a dead giveaway to me. New York City is like the city of drag. After interacting with the drag queen, Carlos still went into the club. There must have been a part of him that suspected something unusual about the club that night, yet he still entered. This event helped me understand his openness to sexuality, masculinity, and femininity. Most people would be conflicted when seeing a drag queen because it makes them question themselves and their views on gender. He was able to identify the person as being a drag queen and he didn’t have any negative emotions towards this person.